Dear Shirley Jane,

I have sat on numerous steps, slept in numerous beds, prayed on numerous floors, and cried in various places since you've been gone. Ten years ago, when I was nine years old...

You were taken so abruptly from us. There were warning signs; you were becoming weaker, weaker, yet still had that smile. The last time I saw that smile... the last time I heard your laugh. It's becoming less and less easy to remember your laugh now. I remember it being as vibrant as you were; infectious, powerful, and full of rich love.

That love was always so evident everywhere you went. You loved all things that made your life more colorful, including your amazing family. You made the world more colorful, to be honest.

I hear all kinds of stories from your brother, nieces, and family. No one can talk about you without smiling. But the smiles these stories create aren't just normal smiles; they're one-of-a-kind smiles. Ones that only come from talking about someone you love. These stories fuel my memory of you. I spent so many nights and countless days at your house on Thornapple Dr. with Peppermint running wild in the back yard and Katy cat making seldom an appearance. AJ would come home from work and then it'd be a party.

I remember how you were so excited to paint the walls in your house; how all of your furniture was dark wood - probably cherry - and how you always smelled simply like Grandma.

Your favorite scent was roses, and boy did roses bloom at your house. All kinds of things grew at your house: in the garden, you grew your own veggies and flowers. In the basement grew your grandchildren's passions for music on the organ and computers on the Desktop. There was never a dull moment at your house.

It was before hospice care, before urgent late nights, and before two of your sons took turns waiting with you at night. It was before the first time I can recall my dad crying, before we sat in the pews, before you became one with the Lord.

What has changed since you've been gone? Everything. It's amazing how much has changed in ten years. Apple products left and right, Virtual Reality, and a TV star has become our president.

You'd be in disarray. But no worries; I got you covered.

So it's safe to say that I'm not going to be forgetting about you ever. I'm also never going to get over this. It's been 10 years, but it feels like a million.

Thank you for raising your kids so well, because they have been the best uncles and aunt possible. But even more so, you raised one heck of a dad for me. He has become my best friend. Also, don't worry: him and Bear haven't gotten into trouble (yet).

I hope I'm making you proud.

Much love,

Stephanie Jane