Dear random top I bought online like a bazillion years ago,

I'd like to say that even though I've never actually gotten to wear you because you are the wrong size and I should've returned you, I really do value our relationship. Every time I see you in my closet, I think about all of the other various items I never returned to the online stores I ordered them from like the Lulu's dress I ordered 6 months ago that I thought would be super cute for game days but gave me a sort of 'giant tomato' look instead. Or those really cute gray booties that I selected in my size but ended up being about 3 sizes too big - how does that even happen?

Anyways, random top, you sit in my closet waiting to be worn but I'm never going to wear you literally ever so don't get your hopes up. You remind me that sometimes when shopping online, I buy things out of impulse, and when they arrive, I'm like 'what the heck why did I order this?' The worst is when I order perfume or some type of makeup online without seeing the color or knowing what it smells like until I open the shipping box and proceed to be knocked to the floor by overwhelming 'old lady circa 1820' perfume. And, not to mention, I thought that lipstick was going to be 'light peach nude' colored, not straight up 'Georgia clay surprise.'

And it's not like I couldn't return all of these things I have no use for — the stores sent return slips and the bags even say "open here in case you need to re-seal this later and return stuff you don't like that will collect dust and take up space in your room otherwise" — or something like that. My favorite is when I've ordered something online and it totally was not what I was expecting and the store emails me with the subject "did you enjoy your recent order from us?" Yes, reallycuteclothes.com, I did enjoy my recent order but the thing you sent me was not what I wanted!!!

Random top, see, you actually do serve a purpose. You are the proof that I, a sophisticated college girl, waste my money on all kinds of things that I never actually use. However, you have taught me a great life lesson — I need to start returning stuff. As aware I am about how crucial it is to the well-being of my bank account that I return things I won't use, I just don't see it in the cards. Maybe in a couple of years when I live down the street from a post office or something. Or maybe if I move back in with my mom she will mail things back for me. Who knows.

Sincerely,

Girl With An Online Shopping Problem

P.S. I promise to never return you <3