At such a young age, there's so much emphasis on finding the perfect significant other and falling into an overwhelming, passionate love. This person is supposed to be able to fix you. This person is supposed to be everything you ever needed. For a while, I struggled with this. When I was sad, I thought I needed a man or a relationship to cheer me up. I thought I needed someone to make it okay for me, and that was just not the case. I thought I needed someone, and it ended up only leading to a more confused, stressed version of myself. This letter is my way of showing you that hindsight is always 20/20.

To the person I thought I needed,

First off, thank you for making me laugh. That's my biggest thing. I was struggling when I met you, and I thought you were so special because you made me laugh. That was something that I missed about myself. You were so funny, and I thought you were genuine, so I stuck around.

Thank you for letting me talk to you. I trusted you so much that I thought I could talk to you about everything. I talked to you about my past and present struggles and my fears for the future. In hindsight, my brain must have interpreted me being vulnerable as us being vulnerable with each other, but that wasn't the case. I tried so many times to get you to talk to me, and you never could let down your guard.

I wish you hadn't led me on. I kept falling for the I mean I like you, Just let it be casual, and It's not like I'm hooking up with someone else, but in hindsight, none of this meant that you had feelings for me. I let myself believe that you were there to make everything better, but I had really just let myself catch feelings for someone who didn't need me back.

I don't regret my time with you. That's not what I'm trying to say. I just wish I hadn't spent so much of it working on building what turned out to be a one-way street. I'm not angry with you. You can't help that you weren't broken and needy when I came along. I wish I could have been the same way.

I guess I just want to ask what you were thinking the whole time. Were you intentionally trying to keep me at an emotional distance? You knew so much about me and my life. Why did you never say that you weren't the guy for me? You must have known. You just kept me around while you waited and tried to figure out what you wanted, and that's not fair.

I fear that this letter may make me sound like a crazy, needy girl that simply liked a boy that didn't like her back. Sure, you could look at it that way. Unfortunately, that looks like the case from the outside. I got caught up in a "relationship" that was funny, amazing, and everything I thought I wanted, but it was only like that when we were alone. Never to the public eye, so you wouldn't know. Believe what you want, it matters not to me.

I write this letter because I know there are other people that have been in my situation. When you feel like, This is the relationship I've always wanted for myself. You want to see so many good things in this new person, so you make yourself see them. It's not that they don't have some amazing qualities; they just may not be the qualities that you want them to have. You don't have to let yourself become so attached to someone that you aren't even sure wants the same things. Maybe this is something that people already know, or think they know, but don't be surprised when you find yourself putting this person on a pedestal in your life that they don't deserve.

To the boy I thought I needed, you weren't the first boy to hurt me, and surely you won't be the last. I simply needed to realize that you weren't actually the boy that I thought you were, and you certainly weren't the one that was going to come and fix me and all of my problems. That's okay.

You know what? I realized that I don't need someone to come and fix my problems. Sure, it's nice to have someone help you face them along the way, but they're something I have to fix for myself. I don't need to latch onto the first boy who makes me laugh or the boy who convinces me to wait around for him. There are so many versions of this person who you think you need, your very own Prince Charming. In reality, he's just a guy. I'm just a girl, and we all need to take a step back and realize that not every relationship is going to be a crazy, overwhelming love. Not all of them need to be.

Let yourself learn for them. I learned from mine. I learned to laugh again, and I learned to put myself first sometimes. I learned not to wait around for someone who doesn't value my worth. I learned to be vulnerable again and trust again, even though those things are hard to do sometimes. I thought I needed this boy, but I honestly something to make me realize that I can't force this culture on myself. I'm a sucker for a good love story, but that doesn't mean that mine has to happen right now. The important part is that I learned I'm still capable of letting myself fall for someone, even if it turns out be for the wrong person.

Thank you for being you and teaching me to just be me.