To the person I want to be,

I should start off by saying I’m trying my best to finally meet you, but it isn’t easy. We all have our weaknesses, and I’m definitely no exception to the rule. I hold grudges, I’m overly anxious, and I spend way too much money on McDonald’s. I let petty things get the best of me, sometimes forget to live in the moment, and have grown away from people I truly care about.

Yet, I haven’t given up on myself because I know I am capable of doing great things. I know that a better version of me exists that hasn’t shown up to the party, yet. But working on becoming a better version of myself is hard work. Really hard work. I, of course, wish these changes could happen overnight, but that’s not how life works. Recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve got to work on a few things. I have to stop taking my life for granted. I need to learn to break some rules. I need to stop making it my number one goal to please people (this is the hardest one).

So this is it. This is me, finally being honest with myself in order to become the person I strive to be everyday. This is me finally realizing the things I’ve got to work on to be a happier, more complete version of myself. This is the current me, telling my future self that I hope she has some stuff figured out for the both of us.

I hope that you’re adventurous.

For as long as I can remember, I have always been a strict rule follower. I’ve never really been known to do anything crazy, which never bothered me much before until recently. When someone asked me what the coolest thing I’ve ever done was, I couldn’t even give them an answer. Everyone else in the room was able to say something insane. Someone told a story about how they went zip-lining in Puerto Rico. Someone else said they hiked the Grand Canyon. Looking back, I’ve always been too scared to do something out of the ordinary, but I hope this is something that can change. I want to have crazy stories to share with my grandchildren one day. I mean, who doesn’t want that? Break away from your comfort zone. You’re only given so many opportunities in life. Go for it when you can.

I hope you learn to fully forgive.

There are a few people from my past whom I wish I could say I’m no longer upset with or have no hard feelings for. I’ve wanted to say that I’ve moved on, that I’ve wished them the best and that I truly hope they are happy. But if I said these things out loud, I would be lying to myself. The truth is, I’m still angry. When I think about the things people have done to hurt me, it makes me become someone I don’t want to be. I don’t want to live my life angry because of broken connections with people. I know that deep down I’m not an angry person, and that I have the ability to walk away and learn to grow from the people of my past. Life is too short to be upset. It’s about fully letting go, and I hope with time you get where you want to be.

I hope you learn to selfishly live for yourself.

I’ve heard over and over again that your twenties are meant for discovering who you really are. This is the only time where you can get away with doing what you want without feeling guilty about it. Want to travel the world and spend two months in Europe? Do it. Feel like going to cooking school for two years? Hell, why not? Have you always wanted to move to a big city and just figure it out as you go along? This is the time to do it. Pleasing people is exhausting, and living for you for the first time in a long time is a breath of fresh air. I hope you realize this.

I hope you spend as much time as you can with the people you love when you have the chance.

It’s become a regular habit to stay in and catch up on the latest season of "Orange is the New Black" while ordering Domino's pizza, sitting in your apartment trying to have some alone time. You think it’s not a big deal that you won’t see your friends tonight, because you’ve got all weekend and you see them all the time. It’s fine, right? But before we know it, it’s suddenly graduation, and everyone is splitting up to start a new chapter in their lives. So meet up with your big for a cup of coffee. Hang out with you freshman year roommate at Folly Beach. Laugh until you cry with your best friends cooking dinner. These are some of the best memories you will ever have.

If you work on anything, please keep these in mind. Do it for the person we can finally be. Do it for us. Do it for you.

Yours truly,

The Modern Day Me