Sometimes I wonder if you remember me.
I was the girl who you taunted, the girl you felt was worthless. Personally, I think you were just afraid of your own value, and decided to place all the dark things about yourself on me. I carried your burden for years, and I pity you.
One of you was deeply insecure, lost in a fog of superficial beauty. You hated how you looked and how you talked and how you moved. But when you called me ugly, you placed your burden on me, because I looked at you and thought that because you called me ugly, you must be beautiful. Others believed it too, because no one was quite as ugly as me nor were they quite as beautiful as you.
Another of you was depressed, full of an unnerving desperation the feel joy. You tried to make joy from laughter, as you called me rudely hilarious names. You fed off of the laughs of your classmates, and when they stopped laughing, you turned right back to me. I became sad, not because I truly felt it but because I could not laugh at your jokes, they way everyone else could. They believed you were happy because you made them happy.
Then, there was someone else, deep in a pit of isolation. You were left to your own devices by your family, and spent weekends and nights purely alone. So you walked into the public world and you pushed me away from my friends, telling secrets and lies. You made room for yourself, where none had been before, and you cast me away in order to keep that room.
I think, worst of all, was the burden of feeling nothing at all. You craved to feel, you wanted emotion. You poked and prodded me, to get a reaction. You watched my face change, as you made me angry or sad, or happy. You played with my emotions because you desperately wanted to feel, but someone had numbed you. They did something cruel to you, so you fed off of my emotions, hoping to learn how the feel again.
Your burdens weighed me down for quite some time, but I realize now, that by bearing them, I helped you. You are beautiful. You are joyous. You are not alone. You can feel. Not because you dealt with it alone, but because you dealt with it, with me by your side. Because of your burdens, I learned what it was like to be someone else. I have an understanding of people that helps me help others in a healthier way. This is why I chose to forgive you. Your burdens were a gift to me, and without you, I would be lost. I would not be able to see both sides of an argument, or see when someone was hurting.
Thank you for letting me bear your pain. I hope that you never have to feel it as you once did. I hope you know you are worth it, and that you made me who I am today.
If you still bear your burdens, then take them to God.
Matthew 11:25-28 says:
At that time Jesus declared, "I thank you, father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Sincerely,
the persecuted.
