“You only have one child? Oh, I’m so sorry.”
“Doesn’t she get lonely?”
“Is she lacking in social skills since she’s alone all the time?”
“She must be spoiled rotten.”
These are just a few of the questions and comments my mother received when I was a little girl when people found out I was an only child. This letter is to all of these inquisitive people, as well as anybody else that thinks children who have no siblings are bizarre or socially inept.
My wonderful parents had me later in life, and the possibility of having a large family was slim. My family has been “The Three Musketeers” my whole life, and I would change nothing about my childhood. I will start off this letter by addressing the first, and most common question/comment that my parents received throughout my childhood.
“You only have one child? Oh, I’m so sorry.” -- There’s no need to feel sorry. Seriously, there isn’t. Although the popularity of couples having only one child has skyrocketed in recent years, there is still a stigma surrounding families that have one child. The life of an only child seems sad to some people; they have no one to play with, they’re too attached to their parents, they have trouble making friends. Yes, maybe some of these characteristics are associated with some only children. But, they are just as common among children that do have siblings. A child’s personality should not be defined by how many siblings they may or may not have.
“Doesn’t she get lonely?” -- No. I was never lonely. Between my parents, my amazing cousins and friends, and a strong imagination that I used to entertain myself for hours, I was never lonely. At an early age, I learned that it was okay to be alone for extended amounts of time. Now as a college student, I have really been learning what it’s like to live alone, and I give credit to my childhood and the skills in independence I have from it in helping me now in my college life.
“Is she lacking in social skills since she is alone all the time?” -- I’d like to think that a person’s social skills are not dependent on how many siblings they have, but that’s just my opinion. My parents put me in music classes, sports, and other activities at a very early age, and although I was a quiet child, I had plenty of friends.
“She must be spoiled rotten.” -- I will admit, I have been spoiled in my life, and I have endless gratitude for that. But, there is a difference between being spoiled and being spoiled rotten. I know plenty of kids who have siblings that are spoiled rotten, meaning that they are given many things in their lives but are not taught the importance of gratitude. A spoiled rotten child and an only child do not have to be the same child. Only children should not all be stereotyped into having the same insufferable personality.
I end this letter with one final point, which speaks to a much larger commentary about our society in general. A child’s character should never be judged based on how many siblings they have, where they are from, how much money their family makes, their standardized test scores, or the multitude of other material aspects in their life that they tend to be judged on. Once we start teaching more children that a person’s empathy, kindness, and respect are what is most important -- and once we start following that principle ourselves -- the world will be a much more accepting and forgiving place.
