Dear (Name That Is Always Botched),

First of all, let me say that there’s a lot of us out there. You may not realize this, but even those of us with easy names have our names mispronounced or misspelled ALL. THE. TIME. I want to first establish that, despite my seemingly easy name, I truly do feel for you. My name is Jonathan. That “h” tends to trip everyone up, and I see variations such as Johnathan, Jhonathan (what is this?), or John (shortening Jonathan would be Jon!). To top this off, people pronounce it as “Joe-Nathan.” Constantly.

But most of my friends have it even worse than I. I can personally apologize for all the times I have mispronounced names like “Jacqueline,” or “Joaquin,” or misspelled names on paper like “Ariana” or “Christina.” That pesky second “n” in Arianna or “h” in Christina (if applicable) always trips me up!

I can also sympathize with all those who never sees their name on tourist license plates, Coke Bottles, or other namesakes since I have friends with names like “Adreeja”(Indian) or “Burim”(Albania)

All the Sioban’s of the world, my goodness, if only someone could SAY your name right, you would definitely thank them endlessly. And the Xaviers? You probably feel the same way!

Alas, I have some good news for all of the Zooey/Zoi/Zoey’s and the Stefan/Stephan/Steven’s: There are LOTS of us out there! You are not alone everyone time someone botches your name either on paper or in speech.

So next time, Anna/Ana, just remember, it is OKAY. It happens to the best of us. There’s just so many variations of the same name that we might mistakenly mix it up. Please forgive us in advance, it is going to happen.

And, finally, you can take solace in the fact that your last name isn’t Boehner, like the Speaker of the House. People have inevitably messed up that pronunciation an innumerable amount of times. (Its pronounced “BAY-ner” by the way!)