An Open Letter to the Past

An Open Letter to the Past

It's time we finally talk.

Dear Past,

How do I even begin to write a letter to something that doesn’t occupy physical space, but occupies so much of my mind and heart? I guess I could start by thanking you.

Thank you for both the good times and the bad.

Thank you for putting me in the wrong places at the right times.

Thank you for putting me in the right places at the wrong times.

Thank you for putting me in the right places at the right times.

As easy as it would be for me to sit here and wish that living through you would have been effortless, I’m glad it wasn’t. Why? Because the parts of you that tore me down, only gave me a higher mountain to stand on when the times were good (because a lot of the time, things were good).

There are parts of you that I wish I could have back, if only for one day, one hour, or even one minute. But the fact that there are some parts of you that can never be brought to me again makes the memories of you that much sweeter. You have taught me, above all else, to savor the things I have in my reach now before they become another part of you once more.

I make you seem like a soul-stealer or dream-crusher. You definitely could be, but not always. You didn’t always take from me; I gave you some things too. Sometimes, I gave you things because they were too much for me to hold. By giving these things over to you, you allowed me to walk a little lighter and be a little freer. That sport I played in high school? I gave that over to you. The friendships that I outgrew? I gave them all over to you. The negative opinions I had of myself? I gave those to you. There was no more room in my life for those things; they would have weighed me down in my journey to bigger and better things.

And here I am. I’m currently doing and seeing those bigger and better things. However, I’m not naïve enough to think that what I’m doing now will be the best (or worst) times of my life. That’s another thing you have taught me: life is inherently uncertain. This used to terrify me. To be honest, it still makes me nervous. As long as I work to make the minutes count and not simply count the minutes, then I think I’ll be alright.

All in all, thank you for every little thing, both good and bad. Thank you for tearing me down when I was already torn apart. Thank you for showing me pieces of love, beauty, grace, and happiness in their most raw and unfiltered forms. I couldn’t forget you even if I tried (and you know I have).

With love,

The Present

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I know I don't say it enough, so let me start off by saying thank you.

You'll never understand how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. You'll also never understand how special you are to me and how much I love you.

I can't thank you enough for countless days and nights at your house venting, and never being too busy when I need you. Thank you for the shopping days and always helping me find the best deals on the cutest clothes. For all the appointments I didn't want to go to by myself. Thank you for making two prom days and a graduation party days I could never forget. Thank you for being overprotective when it comes to the men in my life.

Most importantly, thank you for being my support system throughout the numerous highs and lows my life has brought me. Thank you for being honest even when it isn't what I want to hear. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground and keeping me sane when I feel like freaking out. Thank you for always supporting whatever dream I choose to chase that day. Thank you for being a second mom. Thank you for bringing me into your family and treating me like one of your own, for making me feel special because you do not have an obligation to spend time with me.

You've been my hero and role model from the time you came into my life. You don't know how to say no when family comes to you for help. You're understanding, kind, fun, full of life and you have the biggest heart. However, you're honest and strong and sometimes a little intimidating. No matter what will always have a special place in my heart.

There is no possible way to ever thank you for every thing you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Thank you for being you.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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