Hi Mom,
Happy birthday. You probably remember rather vividly what happened one year ago today, and I'm guessing it wasn't the greatest gift you could have asked for.
I imagine you open that text with a slight feeling of disappointment but an overwhelming one of sadness on my behalf. I'd been rejected by U.C. Berkeley, your alma mater, the school of my dreams and the single greatest entity that drove me to be the top student I was during my high school career. The single greatest entity besides you, that is.
You rushed down to my softball practice where I had just opened the email in front of my entire team and told me that, if I wanted to, you would take me home, help me write my letter and drive me to hand it off to Chancellor Dirks who was at an event only 15 minutes from our home. And how did I respond? With resentment.
Mom, I am sorry beyond words for how I treated you that day. The first thing you wanted to do was help me get my second chance, and I was beyond rude to you. You, for my entire life, have worked restlessly to put me in the position I'm in today. And I thank you so much for not giving up on me. After that day, you persisted, making me write that letter even though I wanted to "just be happy with what I had," a ridiculous excuse I made just to seem unaffected by the agony that came with rejection. When I messed up and sent my appeal by mail and not online, you called the admissions office to make sure my letter would be reviewed. And sure, maybe I wasn't exactly pleased when you opened my appeal acceptance letter before me, but the tears that stained my pillowcase when I woke up to your call that morning were laced with gratitude and elation.
This was far from the first time that you've made tough decisions and pushed me to be a better woman. When you were faced with the choice of raising me in Brazil or the United States, you chose to split with my father so that I could have the opportunities I would not have had growing up in Brazil. You are the reason I'm sitting here writing for The Odyssey at Berkeley today. You are the reason I was able to get internships and good grades and be outstanding, because you never stopped pushing me to be my best self. Even when that became too much for me, and you were unable to help me in the way that I needed to be helped, you connected me to someone who could and paid for me to talk to someone until I was better.
Mom, you have consistently compromised your desires to make sure that I had the greatest possible chance of being successful in life, and I'm not sure that I will ever be able to sufficiently thank you or repay you enough to feel like I've communicated the extent of my gratitude. You are my greatest influence, my role model and my best friend. I thank you for every moment you've tolerated my intolerable behavior and for every time you've made me a better person. You are truly who made me who I am today. Thank you.
Love,
Your first child, and therefore your favorite, Tash
