I should have done this a long time ago.

You have been there ever since I was four years old. It started during a party my parents were throwing. It was a candle party. I had dropped a candle on the floor near a table.

“Hey, Dale, look at this,” my dad said.

I bent down for the candle as my father turned and pulled his pants down. What happened next is a blur. I heard a loud, low sound, and felt a burning sensation on my head. My sight was lost in a massive flash.

Then I woke up. I was high out of my mind on all of the drugs they gave me. I could only see out of one of my eyes that was not covered. A couple weeks later and I was out of the hospital. I managed to get rid of the burns on my face by bathing in Moderma every day for a year. Though the physical scars were gone, the mental scars never left.

That is the reason I am deathly afraid of scented candles and probably always will be. It has had serious consequences on my life. Whenever I get a subtle whiff of French Vanilla or Hawaiian Breeze I lose control of myself. I have been accused of assault many times for the numerous occasions I have reacted to seeing a scented candles. The worst part about it is that I don’t react this way to just scented candles; it’s too many other fragrances as well.

I am also triggered by all air fresheners, perfumes, colognes, flowers, car fresheners, deodorants. I have been unable to go to church because of the incense they use. The cold, dead look of the nun is unlike anything I have ever received in my life. I would much rather get lit on fire again. Finding a toothpaste has been a real hassle because mint causes me to go berserk. I swear I have toothpaste lodged in the back of my cornea. I smell it occasionally. And I get triggered again.

It is a vicious cycle that I can not see the end of. I do not believe that any amount of therapy will heal this terrible trauma of mine.

Even Doctor Phil could not solve all of the issues I have. I have tried to get on the show, but he won’t accept me for some reason. I thought he liked people’s weird problems, but I guess he thinks my trauma is too severe for the power of daytime television. I bet Oprah would have me on if she still had her show.

It’s bad enough that I have to deal with all of this, but to have no one except your parents believe makes it that much worse. Whenever I have told someone about my issue, I have been laughed at, stared at, given dubious looks. It is simply awful for both me and the rest of my family. I need you to understand me.