To my long-distance people –
It hurts, doesn’t it? Every goodbye feels like you have to take a part of yourself and leave it somewhere - somewhere cold and unfamiliar. Tears trickle their way down your cheeks sometimes for no other reason than feeling the absence of the one we love, the one propinquity we long for. Even in the presence of friends you care for and love so much, in a room full of people you can still feel alone. Your hand feels empty without the other person’s intertwined as you make your way to breakfast. You may even look down to check that it’s still there.
Mornings can be the hardest. Waking up every morning to be reminded that you still aren’t together yet. We get up, we brush off and we do it all again. We get through the day as best we can and try to ignore that pain we feel deep inside.
We think we have to hide it, but I say we don’t because this pain - it’s actually a beautiful thing that we should own. We don’t always have to be strong. It is okay to miss someone, especially the one we love but can’t have yet. It is like we have the happily ever after, yes even in this moment, but not quite yet.
But here’s the thing – we are on our way to the happily ever after. Every “see you soon” means there is one less we have to say. Every time we have to turn and walk onto that bus, let go of that warmest hug, and tell ourselves repeatedly “don’t look back, don’t look back ” because we know it would break us, we are one step closer to the screen flashing in tones of glitter “Happily Ever After”.
So, hold on tight. Embrace these most difficult moments and remember “You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it”. And in the end, things are going to be better off for the both of you. Here’s a list of just 3 (there are so many more and I challenge you to make think of them every time you feel that loneliness):
1. You are going to appreciate the time you have together more than any couple who has never spent time apart.
You know what it’s like to say goodbye and you know full well what it is like to live without them. You have counted down days, weeks, months to the time you can finally be together. You know what has gone into building just the beginning of a life together so you’re going to treasure it so much more.
2. You’ll have yourselves established first. Then, you can build together.
You’re the dream team. Each of you has spent time developing as an individual. You have gone to school, jumpstarted your career, learned about living on your own, seen the world on you own. Now, you get to do all these things together and use your individual experiences as a springboard for your lives together. You have built foundations - now they can come together to create something incredible. You know all the work each of you has put in so you’ll help each other attain all your goals and aspirations.
3. You have a trust and communication that is incomparable.
In having miles between you, you must establish trust. You have to trust one another to be faithful, to call when you say, to come back soon and to continually love. Communicating and letting the other person know how you feel can be difficult. Issues can arise and talking them out over a poor connection can be beyond frustrating. But if you can resolve things under those conditions, imagine when you can sit at the same table!
Here is a link to see many more benefits of a long-distance relationship.
In the end, I encourage you to hold on. Recognize that it is okay, even good to miss your significant other. Remember the times ahead and that they truly are coming your way. The difficulties will come to an end and you’ll see all the benefits then. After all, hindsight is 20/20. Work hard and do your best to build that foundation that will keep you solid later. Look forward to the Happily Ever After .
All My Love,
Rachel
