An Open Letter To My Group Project Members

Dear Group Project Members,

You don't want to do this. I don't want to do this. None of us are thrilled that a quarter of our grade rests on each others' shoulders. We all took this class for a general education requirement for an easy A. Now one of us can ruin that for the rest of us.

Look, my major classes are killing me, and I'm sure yours are too. Why sabotage this for each other? We're all in this together. Except for a Disney movie, it's a social experiment gone wrong. There's no Zac Efron, just a lot of GroupMe messages.

If we can't work as a group on finals for some classes, why is a group project our final grade? I only took this class to reach my minimum credit requirement. It's time to grow up the world isn't all sunshine. Sometimes you gotta work with total strangers for a good portion of your grade.

I have no interest in this topic. I know you don't either. But being a college student means faking it until you make it. That essay you wrote in ENGL101? Yeah, I know you faked that. The essays on the exam you didn't study for? Faked. Just pull one for the team and fake this out too.

Let's make some promises to each other. We're all adults, right? Just trying to get through college with minimal difficulties. Let's not make it more difficult for each other:

No more ignored GroupMe messages. If you're going to ghost us, by all means, go ahead but do it after the project.

No more passive aggressive GroupMe messages because it's not that deep.

No more forgotten meetings at Starbucks because I know you're not doing anything better.

No more "I don't know how to use Google Docs." It's 2017. Pull yourself together.

No more "Haha what's going on again?"

No more scheduling meetings for Saturday nights.

No more complaining about other work. We're all college students who don't want to spend more than -5 minutes on a general education requirement class. We're all in this together, pal.

No more volunteering our group to present to the class first or last. Second group to present is prime.

No more using a different, obnoxious transition for every Powerpoint slide.

No more

Sincerely,

Your group project member