Dear Warrior,
The first thing that you need to hear is you're not alone. There are seven billion other people with you on this planet, and although you may feel like the loneliest person out here, I'm here to assure you that you're the farthest thing from being on your own. If you were, I wouldn't be here telling you that you are most certainly not.
Another thing you need to hear is there is absolutely nothing wrong with losing it every once and a while. You don't always have to be the strongest one all the time. You can have your share of bad days, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty about having them. That face that you wear for people and the show you put on for them only makes it worse, doesn't it? At the end of the day, the mask comes off, the curtain closes and you find yourself lying in bed, wide awake at 3 a.m., staring at the ceiling and mind racing. The thoughts you've tried so hard to suppress all day come flooding back to you.
Go ahead and cry. No one is stopping you from doing so but you. You don't have to have everything together every hour of every day. Sometimes, you're just one good cry from feeling better. I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's true: Crying is not a sign of weakness and brokenness but an indication that you've been strong for too long. That's how we know we're human beings and not some tribe of freak technologically experimental robots. There's no shame in letting you fall apart, absolutely no shame. They say things fall apart, so better things can fall together. Maybe letting you fall apart will bring brighter and better days ahead. Maybe it's not such a bad thing as you think.
It's good to take your own advice. It’s lot easier said than done, but you know you give good advice to the people you care about who may be going through a rough time. Do what you tell them to do. In helping other people, you can help yourself as well.
You're allowed to break down when you need to. Being strong is one of the toughest jobs out there. I know you make it look like you're okay for the people around you, so you aren't bothering them with your problems because you're sure they have problems of their own. Put you first. You come first in your world and in your own mind. You can only take care of other people if you take care of yourself first. Remember you.
Take the time for yourself to take off your armor and hang up your shield. Allow yourself to feel things other than hiding, locking and pressing those feelings way down until they disappear. You're strong enough to allow yourself that privilege of letting yourself fall apart into a puddle of emotions.
Life is overwhelming; I know. I agree that most of what I just laid out is much easier said than done. Once you allow yourself that time, it gives you an entirely new meaning to the concept of being strong. You are strong enough to fall apart, and you are strong enough to put yourself back together.
With all the love in the world,
The Girl Who Hung Up Her Armor.
