Hello world, it’s me. The girl who falls in love so easily. The girl who lets boys control her happiness. The girl who gets consumed by making other people happy. The girl who always wants to make others happy first.
I have always let a boy control my happiness; I fall in love too easily. Let me tell you, falling in love isn’t a bad thing. I’d rather love deeply and too much, than not love at all. But sometimes, I wish I didn’t give away my love so easily.
Love is special, and it should be saved for special people. My problem is that I see the good in everyone. I see that everyone has the potential to love as deeply as I do, but they don’t love so easily. I see the great potential in everyone, and that is why I put others' happiness first.
When you love so deeply, you want to see everyone succeed. You want everyone to reach their goals and follow their dreams. You want to see those whom you love get everything they've ever wanted in life, even if that means sacrificing what you want and what you love. When you love so deeply, you think everyone loves as deeply as you.
The biggest disappointment in life is finding out that they don't.
The biggest disappointment is waking up one day to find that the one you love with every inch of your soul doesn’t love you back.
The biggest heartbreak is feeling like no one will ever love you as much as you love them, because when you love someone, you’re all in. You give them 110%, every minute of your time, and all of your attention.
And slowly, you notice they aren’t doing the same for you. Slowly, you notice that you aren’t their number one priority, that they don’t give you the time and attention you want and deserve, and that’s when you realize the biggest disappointment in life — not everyone loves the way you do. And you’ve let this other person control all your happiness.
You’ve let this person’s hopes and dreams become your hopes and dreams, and their goals become your goals, and all you want to do is help them reach their potential, meet those goals, and allow their happiness to be your happiness.
So, one day, the biggest heartbreak occurs — they decide you no longer make them happy, that you are no longer who they want. And then you are alone. Your happiness was tied up in the balloon you let them hold, and they let go. They held the box full of all your hopes and dreams and goals, and they dropped it. And you are left unhappy, because you gave them every piece of you until you had nothing remaining, and they didn’t give any of it back when they left.
You let them be your happiness.
So here is my challenge and my new mindset in life. Be the gatekeeper of your own happiness.
Hold on tight to the balloon that holds all your happiness because YOU are the one who controls your happiness.
Hold on to your own box of your own hopes and dreams and goals.
Follow your own dreams, reach your own goals, and fulfill your own potential. Because in the end, you are the only person you have, and there is only one of you in this world.
YOU are the one who is in control of your own happiness.
Sincerely,
The girl who always puts others first.
