Dear You,

First of all, I would like to start by saying that this is not something I am writing for any sort of revenge, or for any sort of pity party. I am writing this because for once I am not afraid of you or your words. For once, I am no longer afraid.

About five months ago I had this definition of what I thought a relationship should be, that was until I met you. I thought you were so amazing with your steady flowing conversations, great taste in music, and ultimate dream to be a Police Officer, so I decided to give it a shot I mean what could possibly go wrong? Famous last words I suppose is the best way to put it because little did I know that the person you led on to be wasn’t the real you. How can you hold people accountable for their actions when you can't even hold yourself accountable for yours? The truth is, you underestimated me and thought you could get away with everything you put me through, well here’s your wake up call.

It all finally broke me today when you did something that will forever change my outlook about you, and everything you have ever told me. You referred to me as a "C-word," knowing that it is the absolute worse thing you could ever call a female. So I started reflecting back on what I consider a hard life lesson.

When we first met, you gave me butterflies, told me all sorts of beautiful phrases that made me feel so special to be yours. I honestly didn’t think that anything could come between us and the relationship we had. That was until you decided that just having me wasn’t good enough. At that moment is when I should have realized who you were, but for some reason I being so gullible thought you actually meant it when you said you made a mistake, but, of course, there was that one part of me saying don’t believe him. He will never change. I wish I could go back and listen to that part of me it would have saved me a lot of mental, physical, and emotional pain. But since I didn’t, we went on with our broken relationship that never healed for four more long, miserable months.

I say "miserable" because instead of seeing me as your girlfriend, you saw me as your maid, chef, babysitter, and counselor. However what really knocked me down is that I became your prisoner. You know I find it very ironic that you graduated the police academy and began the process of becoming a LEO (Law enforcement officer) whose motto is "To Serve and Protect." I will never forget the many times we’d get into an argument and I’d try to leave but you would not let me. You would physically hold me down, take my keys, or even barricade the door just so I wouldn’t leave you. You had such bad anger problems that it got to the point where I would just agree with you for fear of my well being. You made me wear a smile around our friends and family and I did for my own safety.

However you are the most emotionally abusive, temperamental person I have ever come encounter with. You talk so badly about everyone in your life, your parents, your sister, your ex (who you cheated on me with, then left me for) your brother, your only friends, but especially me. You thought my major was an absolute joke and told me that since I want to be a dance teacher I will never be considered a real teacher. You hated the fact that I had such a loving nature and could find a positive out of any situation. You were so jealous of how well I could put aside our problems and go have fun with my friends and sisters. You truly didn’t deserve to have me in your life for as long as you did, and what shocks me is after everything I went through with you, you still have the audacity to try and come back into my life as if there is a place for you. Sorry, but if you treat me as if I am a joke, I will leave you like it's funny.

So guess what 5 months later and here I am, stronger, braver, and no longer afraid of you or your words. You will never have the power you once had over me ever again. You will no longer be able to wrestle me to the ground when you get mad. You will no longer be able to call me the "C-word" just to make your ex proud. You will no longer have my support for anything you do. Most importantly you will no longer be able to hurt me ever again.

I guess I do owe you some sort of thank you for all of the life lessons and what not to expect in a relationship. So thank you for teaching me how a boy should never lay a hand on a girl. Thank you for showing me what it means to overcome a real emotionally abusive relationship. Thank you for showing me just what it means to be a "bad cop." And most importantly thank you for being a role model to your precious little girl and giving her a prime example of what to look for in her future boyfriends and husband. I mean after all daddy’s are their little girls role models.

But for now, I leave you with this... I wasn’t meant for you, and I now know that God has much bigger plans for me. I can't move on to the next chapter of my life if I keep re-reading the last. Feel free to watch me as I leave.

Sincerely,

The Girl Who Is No Longer Afraid