Dear Former Best Friend,
When I had no friends, you were there. You invited me along with your new adventures, and I was in awe. You showed me a side of myself that I never knew existed and I loved every moment. From then on, we were a team. It was never just you or me, but both of us together. A beautiful friendship was born, and I really thought it would last forever.
We have a lot of good memories. Sometimes so many, that it hurts to look back and think about what went wrong. We did homework, ate late night junk food, had sleepovers and went shopping together. When anyone asked me where you were, I could tell them in a split second, and you knew the same about me. We would stay up all night and gossip about boys, discuss music, and make plans for the next day, so we could do it all again. There was nothing I felt I couldn't tell you, and the trust ran deep. Or so I thought.
I can't exactly say when everything started going wrong, but eventually the daily conversations became weekly, then monthly, and then just turned into text messages, eventually to just be left on read. As time went on, we just started becoming different people, with different hobbies and different friends. When we did hang out, it always started out great, but always ended up in another event that would lead to more text messages left on read. The adventures weren't fun anymore, and the side of myself I discovered and loved started to feel less like me and more like a stranger attached to me.
When things finally fell apart between you and me for good, I blamed myself for a long time. I told myself I could've made more time to hang out or tried harder to like your new friends or new boyfriends. And you let me feel this way. You even told me what I was doing wrong without taking blame for yourself. You tore me down, when a real friend would have helped to lift our friendship back up, rather than letting me struggle with the rubble. Conflict is a two way street, and I will always take my part of the blame because I know I hurt you too, but will no longer apologize for yours. For my own self, I will always hold on to our happy memories and slowly try to let go of the bad.
I don't hate you, and I don't even resent you. I never will. I want you to have a successful future, and achieve your dreams. Some friendships just don't work out, and some are meant to last forever. Unfortunately, we were the first option. I will always cherish our time together and learn from the mistakes we made. You are unique, ambitious and beautiful, and I know you had good intentions at heart. I'm sorry things didn't work out the way we wanted but everything happens for a reason, and I hope you find yours as I start to discover mine.
