To My Best Babe,

I have never looked up to anyone more. When you walk into the room heads turn, people know you by name. In this crazy, drunken college town, you somehow have it all together with the positive priorities, your own crazy hobbies that I will just never understand, and a bright future ahead of you... you truly do you. Perfectly.

It’s been about seven months since you fell in love with this boy. I get it, he shows he cares, has the sweetest personality, and isn’t bad on the eyes. You used to glow when you were around him: you two truly made each other want to be better individuals. I understand that.

I know: everyone telling you what you should be doing, feeling, saying, or even acting is so frustrating. I am not here to do that. I’m just here to ask how are you? Not the usual “how are you,” but how are you? I don’t care about how your future is lining up or how that boy makes your world spin, how do you feel about everything? Is this what you want? If so:

Where did that spark I fell in love with go?

As you spent your time with the adorable Snapchat filters together and cuddling and drinking wine, you began to miss out on the fun Thursday movie nights you had with your neighbors. You started to miss class from when you felt like that small argument you two had shouldn’t have been left without closure. You missed work when that girl texted him.

I really hate to see the girl who turned heads with positivity become the girl that turns heads with questions and concern because no one will tell her what they are seeing. I do see the good-looking boy whispering those sweet nothings in your ear at the pregame. I also see the frustration in your face when he tries to confront you about talking to one of your mutual guy friends. I see the adorable Christmas pictures you took with his dog. Your social media didn’t see the fight you had before and after it over him not giving you the time of day on that dinner date. Your family sees your successful future and your passion in your hobbies. Do they see you complain about how they have become chores to you?

It is possible to love someone without losing yourself. Relationships do take work, but there is a difference between work and making things work. There is a difference between consistent accusations and true concern. There is a difference arguing because you care and arguing because you don’t know how to let go. There is a difference between being in love with someone and being in love with love.

Please, please, please. I want to see that glowing confident face when I come back to visit. Whether he is still in the picture or not, I want my friend back.

Until then,

Ya Girl.