“Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step."—Unknown
Among all things this year, I have learned how extremely facile it is for us as humans to get caught up and pulled by the hectic reigns of life. Sometimes we lose all perception of time and bolster solely off of a series of events and emotion. I suppose this is how seconds, minutes, years slip away from us so quickly. Time speeds up when there is so much going on around us ... especially in college.
A few mornings ago, I remember walking across campus as the sun rose behind the beautiful bell tower. I felt that ghostly feeling on the sidewalk that one only gets to experience early in the morning or late at night. I took a deep breathe and shed a tear because I realized how fortunate I was for all of the amazing opportunities I've had in just my short time here. By no means has my freshman year been anything that I expected, nor was it perfect or anywhere near it, but I have learned so much about myself and just life in general.
Side note: To my girls reading this, who have experienced this year with me ... it's about to get mushy (but you know how I am). I love you so much. I don't think you realize how much you have changed my life for the better just by being there. Some of you may never know how weak I was walking into this experience. Unfortunately, some of us lose a friendship or two as the semester comes to a close and fades away with summer.
I remember entering this beautiful campus with a clean slate. I knew a handful of acquaintances from Columbus, Indiana, and I expected college to be perfect and everything that I'd imagined, solely because I had a fresh start. I expected to kick ass in school and make a ton of "true" friends along with lifelong sisters.
However, this was not exactly the case. I didn't realize how many times I would cry myself to sleep at night. I didn't realize how much I would miss my family that I couldn't wait to get away from, and more importantly I wasn't expecting to realize that I didn't know what the hell I was doing or where I was going.
I couldn't tell you how many times I would write about it and pray that God would guide my steps and lead me to something that exceeds my expectations (as long as I put in the effort to get there). I guess what I'm really getting at is that this year I've learned, above all else, that there's a hidden blessing in every situation (good or bad). Of course I was given a lot of hardships this past year, as was every other freshman, but I was also given the best year of my life.
It is interesting to watch how we grow into adults, chasing what we want out of life. The most rewarding feeling is figuring out who you are when you were lost for so long throughout your teens. I've learned my values, where I'm heading, who I want to be. I see more of my parents in myself every single day, and I am proud of that. As I continue on this journey, I am determined to go headlong in all that I do. So thank you, Ball State University, for slowly showing me, through the opportunities and hardships, where I would like to end up.
