Dear first love,
It’s a little bittersweet to look back on our memories and think that we’ll probably never make new ones. I know we said we would stay in touch, just like every other couple does when they break up. We haven’t spoken in months. When we were together, I never thought we would go this long without speaking. But here we are, going to school on opposite sides of the country. And I’m OK with that. In fact, I’ve moved on. I hope you have, too. But I’ve been thinking about what I never got the chance to tell you. So, here it is.
I’m sorry for thinking I could only ever love you, and for holding on for so long, even when we both knew we were bad for each other. When someone is your first everything, it’s hard to imagine ever being with someone else. I’m sorry we didn’t end things sooner when we were so unhappy. We could only pretend for so long that everything was okay. I’m glad we both had enough respect for ourselves to eventually go our separate ways.
Thank you for teaching me how to love. You were my first, after all. And I was yours. We taught each other what it meant to be part of the thing everyone seems to want in life. We taught each other how to compromise. How to laugh at ourselves. How to be selfless. How to trust. How to love passionately. I have passed on these lessons in love to others that came after you.
Thank you for teaching me how to live without love, or at least without a relationship. At the time, I thought losing you was the worst thing that could ever happen. Being without you taught me that there are much worse situations in life than being single or being heartbroken. In the months I spent missing you and feeling sorry for myself, I slowly learned that I need to be in love with myself. I learned that my happiness should never be dependent on another person. Thank you for teaching me that I never need another half to complete me. I am a whole person on my own.
Because of the time we spent together, I would welcome your friendship with open arms, if you ever wanted to be friends again. However, I have to say that I don’t really miss you the way I used to. I miss what we used to have. I miss our memories. And I miss your dogs, of course. I still think about you. Not the way I used to, but I wonder how you are. I hope you’re doing well. I hope you’re happy with where you are and what you’re doing and the people you’ve met. In fact, I hope you’ve met someone new to love, and that you love that person more than you ever loved me. I hope that you’re happy together. I hope that you are in love again with someone new; I know I am. And I owe a lot of it to you.
Sincerely,
Your first love.
