Dear Ex,
If we're being honest, I never thought in a million years I would be publicly announcing my hatred towards you. I swore I would not be that ex-girlfriend, yet here I am. But frankly, you didn't really give me any other choice but to do so.
I can honestly and with a full heart say that you were the best and the worst thing to happen to me. Through all the laughs, the cries, and the "I hate you" arguments, you were still always my go-to-guy when I went to sleep every night. Aside from being just my significant other, you were my best friend. The person I told all my secrets and stories to. You were my person.
Were. You were my person. As much as I thought what we had would be this happily-ever-after love story, it was everything short of that. You grew to be someone I did not recognize. Eventually, I realized I was slowly losing the person I fell for after several years of this amazing friendship.
Prior to our relationship, I built up an emotional wall. It was my metaphorical way of protecting myself from getting hurt. You somehow brought down that wall with ammo armed and ready with smooth talk and late night phone calls, managing to get to the other side. Of course, I opened up to you with welcoming arms. Wrong.
The breakup was long and dreadful. You would come back to me saying you made this huge mistake. Taking it back all over again, you just left me cold and utterly heartbroken. I can still feel the pain in my stomach that I felt when you told me the feelings were gone. That you didn't want me. It's a pain that never seems to go away when you lose your first real love, regardless of how many come after. It's been well over a year and the thought still brings a waterfall of tears running down my cheek.
I've heard so many people telling me the past year that I deserve better, that I'll find better, or that someone else out there will treat me better and will actually stick around. I'm sure all of those are true, but its the simple fact that no one has yet to compare to what we had--or at least what I thought we had.
Maybe you're reading this and actually in some messed up way, getting a chuckle out of it. Maybe you didn't care enough to click the link. Either way, you know that how I felt was genuine and real. And you took advantage of that to the best of your abilities. Congratulations, jerk.
It's really just all so ironic to me. I friend-zone you for six years, finally give you the chance, and you leave. I guess that's life's twisted humor. I grew up thinking that there was a true love for everyone. I thought you would always end up marrying your soulmate. I thought when you told some "I love you," that they would say it back. It's just so crazy that you grow up having all this hope in your heart, dreams in your mind, and love to give, only to be thrown into a world where nothing is like the story books. Sometimes they might not say "I love you too." You didn't, and here I am writing about it.
Of all the bad things I could say about you, there are a thousand good ones. You were my first love. You have been my only love, and there are many reasons for that. I'm still broken and trying to pick up the pieces to put myself together. Slowly but surely, I will. Just know that I hope she makes you laugh and smile the way I use to. I hope she is everything you've ever wanted. Maybe you'll do it right this time. Don't let her go.
Good luck,
The girl you let go
