This isn’t another one of those articles that tells women to be “content” with their current relationship status or be “happy” with themselves. This article should be an empowered heavy rain, in which all of my ladies should run out and finally dance in the water. Many trusted individuals around a woman will convince her that she should wait for the right guy to come along, and she shouldn’t worry. She should be content in being single for the time being because she can go out and do her own thing for a while. She should find herself, and find out what she wants before she goes looking for the next man. She should just be happy that she’s making a difference in her friend entourage, career field, familial relationships, etc. She should lower her standards. Maybe, she should just adopt a puppy to cure the lonesomeness.

Well, I’m here to tell these ladies that they should not be forced to fill a void in their lives, or try to get rid of the void because they believe that it will never be filled. This void being a partner in crime for life. The problem with today’s generation is that we make finding a partner such a priority, that it eventually breaks us. We compare ourselves to other girls and their lives to the maximum point, in which we become obsessed with trying to be that person. No matter how long we stalk her Instagram and twitter, we are not going to be Carrie Underwood. We will never be married to Mike Fisher. We’re not going to be the girl that lives a floor below you, who is just effortlessly perfect, and dates the star basketball player.

But what we can do, is surmount all of our wasted energy from throwing pity parties to something worthwhile and substantial. Want to lose a few pounds or tone your legs to look like Carrie Underwood? Go to the gym and start small; work your way up, and you’ll be stronger minded. No partner required, but hey, what if you meet someone cute at the gym? You’re welcome. Always wanted to learn self-defense and ditch the pink pepper spray container? Do some research and take a class, or learn taekwondo. Devote yourself to school and the classes you are currently embarking. Go to church and find your faith in Jesus Christ.

Being single isn’t a sin. Being single is what we as a society view as lonely, not dateable, saddening, pessimistic, pathetic, etc. Not one person will describe the act of a singular person as passionate, loving, caring, dazzling, stunning, etc. It’s time to turn this contemporary trend around, because I’m tired of being told I’m the third, fifth, seventh, or ninth wheel. I’m not a wheel. I am an independent, fun, optimistic, bubbly lady. I believe that my being single is a beautiful course and path that I am pursuing. Not because I haven’t found the “right” one, not because I’m “content” with being single, and not because I’m “happy” with my body image and life. It’s because I don’t need another human being to complete me for the time being. I’m single in my own right, and I’m going to spend my own personal time doing what I love, and accomplish new goals.

Being single can be fun without going to bars and acting like someone you are not just to attract a mate. Being single doesn’t mean lowering your standards, or finding what you are passionate about. Being single isn’t petty, saddening, or disconcerting. You are not a numbered wheel in your friend group. You don’t have to be content or happy with yourself. You just need to realize that having another human in the picture, as perplexing and exciting as it may seem, isn’t the answer to all of our wishes.

Society tells us that one day we will be married to the love of our life, with a nice house and porch, and a child glued to the hip. Women choose to obsess over this fantasy, and some ladies find it sooner or later than others, while some find one part, but not the other two. The women that seem to have it all then feels superior and looks down upon those that don’t have the dreamy, Americana life. Again, this is so unbelievably wrong. It makes the ones who don’t have anyone feel like crap, and we are back to square one. This doesn’t have to be the case, and once this revelation is found among a majority, I hope societal women will run away with it.

Today’s world is still a very masculine-dominated life, in which we as women live and experience every single second, minute, hour, day, year. But ladies, we don’t need a masculine aspect to be successful and strong-minded. For once, go out and do what you enjoy. The next time there’s a heavy rain, go out and dance for all it’s worth. Because you are worth just as much as the next girl, and a partner can never alter, lessen, or enhance your individual worth.