Dear fake friends,
I just wanted to let you know that I don't deserve you. Actually, wait—scratch that—you don't deserve me.
I'm usually humble, caring, and honest, at least that's how I was in our so-called friendships, but it sucks that you didn't care to give me the same energy. I've spent months questioning whether I was stupid for allowing you all to manipulate me and tell me things to make me feel validated, and it's unfortunate that things have come to this point.
We could have ruled the world. I could have been your best man at your weddings, your godfather to your children, anything you wanted me to be. Instead, you wanted me to be humiliated. You wanted me to drown in loneliness. I hope you're happy now because you got what you wanted. Truth be told, you guys aren't the only bunch to treat me with utter disrespect.
I mean, I'm used to people leaving me on read when they feel like it, not checking on me when they know something's wrong, acting like I don't exist on certain occasions. That's why they're all cut off and placed in my graveyard where fallen friendships rot. Soon enough, that's where you all will be.
I deserve something hopeful out of what you gave me these past few days, months, and years. But, the more I complain about you all to others who DO care, they always tell me to let you go, that I don't deserve to have you all in my life. They know you all can pull me down because you know you can.
I just want to know something. Why can't you be real with me? Why can't you just tell me that I'm not worth your time? Why lead me on and play games with my mind?
Then again, I'm stupid enough because I value friendships so much that I believed that what we all had together was genuine. I've gone to your parties, supported your endeavors, and gave you the validation you wanted. Meanwhile, I'm in the dirt.
I know you're probably enjoying the fact that I've suffered these past few years. I bet you're enjoying that my mental health is on the edge, and I sit and think about you and why I'm in this predicament. You're probably feeling defensive and thinking that what I'm feeling isn't justified. You're probably calling me crazy—I am. But, I'm not that crazy enough to think that our bond was ever real.
But, this is me saying I'm not evil. I don't wish bad on you. In fact, I'm open to giving chances and hearing you out, and seeing where we lie, because inside, I know you care as much as I do.
If you don't, then I'd rather you say so instead of egging me on.
Someone who feels betrayed.