This letter is something that is oddly so easy, however so difficult to write. I'm just going to come out and say it, I am adopted. Some of you may have a lot of questions, but I already know the one that most of you are thinking is about my birth-family. Honestly, I know as much about them right now as you do, and I don't exactly have the desire at this time to know more. Why, you ask? Well, that's because of all of you.

-To my teacher who helped me pick up my first chapter book on my own and instilled my love for reading and writing.

-To my three cousins who live five minutes from me, but who were also my childhood best friends and still are.

-To the bullies in middle school who made getting up and going to school such an anxiety-causing chore until the day I graduated high school (even though the bullying stopped two years before I graduated).

-To my closest college best friends who gave me reasons to not begin commuting my second semester of freshman year when I felt like I lost my place on campus, lost friends, and lost myself.

-To the family I hardly get the chance to see, but when I do it feels like we’ve never parted ways.

-To the guy who told me, a member of the LGBTQ community, that he doesn’t give a f*** about gay rights.

-To the friend I thought hated me, but now has the power to turn my bad days around and cheer me up.

I am writing this letter to all of you, regardless of if you’ve caused me pain or happiness, helped me grow, or caused me to stumble backwards. This letter is to all of you because, regardless of it was positive or negative, all of you impacted me in some way which has helped shape me into the person I am today: happy, strong, and loved.

Even if I tried, I wouldn’t be able to count the amount of times I’ve been asked, “But, don’t you ever want to meet your 'real' parents or your 'real' family?” I know that when people ask me this what they mean by the word “real” is my birth family, but I always give the same answer. I’ve been living with my real family my entire life. While I’m slightly curious as to just where I came from, I have no desire at this time to go and find my birth-family because I’m more than happy and my heart is full because of all of you.

Mom and dad, regardless of how much we don’t see eye to eye, you both have given me and my sister a home, a life, and absolutely everything in between. I have never felt deprived of anything. I have never felt like you’re not enough, that you’re not my “real” parents, or that there’s anything in the world you couldn't give me that I feel like I’m missing out on. You both are so much more than “enough,” you are eccentric and I truly can’t wrap my head around thinking of what my life would be like if the two of you didn’t get that phone call that a little baby girl in Iowa was about to be born and needed a home. I don’t say it enough, but thank you both endlessly for the amount of effort, love, and passion you put into giving me the best life you could provide.

To all of you reading this who made me lock myself in the school bathroom because of an anxiety attack, threw baseballs at my face, pretended to flirt with me for laughs, or nearly started a fight with me in the school hallway. To the ones who ridiculed me for who I was friendly with, tried to sabotage my social life, belittled me because you thought I wasn’t smart, or made me doubt every aspect of myself, thank you. While for a period of time you made life so hard for me to endure, I still have to say thank you, because the things you put me through have made me strong and it helped me to become such an unconditionally loving girl, due to the fact that I saw how cruel people can be. While I still continue to deal with a lot of social anxiety and school anxiety, I still can’t help but say thank you for that too because I know I’ll conquer it one day and when I do, I’ll be even stronger.

To my friends, the ones reading this who I’ve drifted from as well as even the friends I’ve made in the past week, thank you all for being such a prominent part of my life. This is the hardest part of my letter to write since there’s so many of you and I’ve had such different experiences with each and every one of you. Yet, you’re all so special to me. Thank you to my childhood friends who I may not be close with anymore. You made my youth filled with happiness. Thank you to the friends that stuck it out with me during the absolute hardest years of my life - from middle school through high school. I know I must have been hard to stay close with and I was going through some extremely rough obstacles, but you never left me and I can’t thank you enough for that. Thank you to the absolutely incredible friends who I’ve made in college, whether we are still as close as last year or not, college has been an incredible but also very rough experience for me thus far and all of you are making these years so special. Lastly, thank you to the four or five absolute closest friends I have on my college campus. I’m still trying to find my place here or even if I have one, but you are what kept me here, trying, and smiling every single day. Thank you all so much for being a part of my life as I’ve had problems, but I never had those problems when I was around you.

I’m going to wrap this up with giving such a strong thank you to my entire family. Going back as far as I have the ability to remember, there has never been a time where I felt like I was not accepted nor I was any different from the rest of the family. If I did however, it was never a reflection of any of you because, externally, I feel like I’m a part of one of the most loving and open-minded families there are. I was accepted for my adoption, my interests, my flaws, and recently, my sexuality. I can and always have been able to be my true self around you, never having to hide or keep anything a secret for long. Growing up and being a part of this family has been a crazy ride, but I can’t imagine myself growing up surrounded by anybody else. I don’t even have the ability to form with words how thankful i feel to you and how much I love you, but I still need to say it anyway: thank you.

The amount of people I have to thank for making me feel at home wherever I am is way too many. Maybe even thousands of people have entered my life and impacted me some way at some time. You are all the reason why I feel like I am with my “real” family and friends, just like I always have been. One day, maybe my curioisity will get the best of me and I’ll go out and see where I came from, but for now I am as happy as I can possibly be, and it’s all owed to you.

Much love,

Abbie