I do not come from a family with divorced parents. That said, I do not believe people from divorced families come from "broken homes." We compare divorce rates to those of the early 1900's, claiming that older generations worked out their problems instead of giving up. But is that really what our generation - and our parents' generation - is doing?
I believe we are not the divorce generation, and neither is our parents. We are the result of a generation that liberated themselves, walked away from unhappy relationships, and had the strength to stick it to The Man and make their lives better than those before them. It's not that I believe divorce is great or that it should be taken lightly, but rather, that I have seen dozens of divorced parents. They remarry, they find joy in their lives. They find joy in their lives that they would not have been able to find if they had stayed with their significant other.
I believe not every relationship will work itself out. When we compare divorce rates to generations before us, we don't take into account the social and religious stigma of divorce in the early 1900's. It's not so much that people worked harder to make relationships work so much as it is that people were not allowed to get divorced. Getting a divorce was heavily frowned-upon, and many found themselves stuck in abusive or otherwise failing relationships, unable to ask for help or walk away. Is our generation really worse off because we can leave our partner without fear of being socially cast away?
I strongly believe that marriage is about making a commitment. And am in no way trying to lessen the importance of anyone's marriage. That said, we are not obligated to continue to be in an unhappy and failing relationship. As adults, people should have the maturity to know when to move forward, and how to do so without jeopardizing their children's happiness.
In my personal life, children of divorce look at their parents often with disdain and bitterness for not staying together. To any children of divorce, look at your mom's smile next time you see her. See the light in your dad's eyes, and the joy in your stepmom's laughter. Your parents, by leaving each other, were able to realize and fully accept their own happiness. Would you rather they had sacrificed their happiness for eighteen-plus years to allow you to be raised by a "fixed family?" I am not a child of divorce, but it plays a role in my life. My parents both had previous marriages, with children, before divorcing and finding each other. Because of that, I have two incredible half-brothers, and I can sleep well, knowing that my parents' strength to leave their first spouses is what brought me into the world.
Divorce has a social stigma that only our generation can stop. We can stop the shaming, gossiping, and judging of couples who divorce to find the happiness they had once shared with their significant other. Straight or LGBTQ+, no couple is perfect. Who are we to judge a couple who chooses to find their happiness without the person they made vows to?
