An Open Letter To The Dad Who Chose To Leave

An Open Letter To The Dad Who Chose To Leave

Thank you for all that you put me through.
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Dad,

It's taken me years and a lot of tears to cope with the fact that you left. Your absence has burned a hole within me that will never be repaired.

You were a coward. You found a new wife and you chose her over your first baby girl who you gave life to. I was only a kid when this happened, so it seemed normal. I never really noticed anything until a baby brother and sister were brought into my life... with your new wife.

That's when the pain set in. I had to watch you raise two children while I couldn't even get a card on my 16th birthday. That's when all of my anger was taken out on mom because she was the only one who was there for me.

You chose when you wanted to be a part of my life, and being apart of their life was never a question.

I've built up so much anger towards you over the years. I'm angry that I've made excuses for you because you were young when you had me when in reality you're perfectly capable of being a good father.

I'm hurt that I have to call you first on holiday's when I should be the first thing you think of when you wake up on Christmas morning.

I'm angry because I've spent nights in my room with a pillow held to my face so mom couldn't hear me crying. Crying over the fact that I've never felt good enough, because how is a girl supposed to feel good enough for anyone else when she isn't even good enough for her own father?

I'm angry because I'm cynical about the idea of love. I've never felt loved by you, and you're the one person in the world who should love me unconditionally. But, that's never been the case.

You were my first heartbreak, and I still haven't gotten over it.

You should be there to pick up the pieces left by the boy who didn't want me, but that boy has become you.

Despite all of this, I do want to thank you.

Thank you for showing me that I don't need you to make it through life. Thank you for forcing me to learn how to grow up at a young age. Thank you for helping me realize that I can do anything on my own.

You never showed the support a father should, you just showed up to take the credit when it was convenient for you.

Thank you for doing all of this to me because now I know I will never ever make my child feel the way you make me did because no one should ever feel unloved by a parent.

So I'll leave you with a final thank you. Thank you for making me a stronger person, because even though I've always felt like I need you, I don’t.

Sincerely,

Your strong, independent daughter

Cover Image Credit: Courtney Gutkowski

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
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“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."

-Unknown

Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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What It Is Really Like Having Sisters Close To Your Age

While having siblings close to your age is pretty amazing, there can be a lot of issues that can come with it.

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I come from a family of 5 people and 1 dog. I have 2 sisters, Grace and Caroline. We are all pretty close in age, Caroline being the youngest and 3 years younger than me.

My sisters and I share a bond like no one else, no one can replicate it. When you have siblings close to your age you have built-in best friends, and since they are around your age you have the same interest, or at least, enough so that you can do things that other siblings cannot. Examples of this would be seeing R-Rated movies and going to the mall without too much complaining, along with being able to shop in the same stores or even share clothes. Grace and I sometimes even split the cost of a shirt we both like.

We even overlap friend groups! Which is not much of a problem for us, Grace and I are both in music programs which overlap enough for us to have the same friends, which is great for when one of us has a sleepover, the other can join in on the fun. Caroline, however, even though she is seen as the sporty one of the 3 of us, she still has a lot of friends who have similar interests as Grace or I, giving us a lot of the same friends. It's nice not to be considered the "cool older sister", I am just like the rest of them.

While we do fight a lot, we make up really quickly, because most issues we have are stupid sibling fights: who gets the T.V., what to have for dinner, what movie to see. But it is always fun because there are 3 of us, which means majority rules, something we tend to go by most of the time depending on the situation.

Having 3 teenagers in the house can be a handful for our parents though, when you have three teenage girls going through puberty at relatively the same time, it can be grueling, especially when you are all on your period at the same time.. (yes, that has happened before) (and yes, it sucks). While I am on the topic, let's say a prayer and a thank you to my dad for dealing with 5 girls (including the dog, obviously) because he does a pretty damn good job at dealing with all of us.

When we were younger, we always had a play date even when one was canceled. We all made up songs and dances and would perform them for our parents. We even had a band called The Halsey Sisters (AKA the female version of The Jonas Brothers) where we had a hit song called "We Got The Heart and Soul". It was a hell of a time. Let's just say the music video for that song is, interesting to say the least.

At the end of the day, I wouldn't switch my sisters for anything in the world, they are my rocks, and I wouldn't want it any other way, Grace, Caroline, keep doing what you're doing, because you're pretty damn awesome.

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