An Open Letter To The College Boy That's Scared Of Commitment

An Open Letter To The College Boy That's Scared Of Commitment

"When will you realize that one night stands, no strings attached relationships, and friendships with benefits doesn't make you a man?"
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Boys (not men),

Now, I am sure you are sick of hearing this, but come on. When is it going to end? Will there ever be a time in your life where you stop insisting that almost every relationship you have is strictly no strings attached? Where did the respect go? I mean, don't get me wrong, everyone needs sex. It is scientifically part of us, but there is more to life than just sex. I understand that most of your male minds are wired to believe otherwise, but it is time to grow up. There is a trend with you college boys. You flirt, fuck, and forget. Sometimes you even do it repeatedly giving the girl a small glimmer of hope that you aren't inhumane. The saddest part is that most of these girls are your friends! Your mindless desire for sex takes over, and you forget that there is a respectable young woman in front of you.

Truly though, it is not all your fault. Society has made you this way, and the fact that your kind is now the norm is because we are all allowing this to continue, especially the women who become involved with you. These women allow you to treat them this way, even though it is disgusting. So ask yourself this: What would your mother say? I'd assume she would be disgusted with your behavior, but let's be honest she has no clue. So, imagine your mother as a young woman. Now, imagine her being treated like a piece of meat. I mean that is what you boys are doing. You use these girls for sex, and once you get what you want you are on your way. Believe it or not, these women are more than just a convenience.

I am not saying to bring back the hardcore romance, by any means, but respecting the girl you 'get with' should be a priority. If you can't manage to do that then, simply, don't get with her. These girls are probably amazing, but you won't even take the time to get to know them. That one girl you told your buddies you 'banged' at that one party, may be super smart! That one friend you hooked up with but talked smack about in your group chat with your friends may be beyond kind! That one girl you call you slept with, but ignore because you got what you want (*cough, cough* sex), could be an amazing friend! You don't have to marry them or date them, but would a new friend or acquaintance kill you? I mean, considering you had sex with this girl, I would hope not.

Regardless, boys, it is time to grow up. I am not saying that you guys are awful people for not being in committed relationships. It is college; we all want to live a little. All I ask is that you don't pretend that ever person you have had sexual intercourse with is nonexistent. We are all living, breathing, human beings. It's shocking, I know, but it's true! So befriend us on social media, say hi to us if you see us around, or even be a little crazy and make some conversation. You have to start somewhere, and I would start now. Your glory days aren't going to last for forever bud, remember that.

Oh, and trust me, we don't want to date you either.

Sincerely,

College women everywhere

Cover Image Credit: Her Campus

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It's Time To Thank Your First Roommate

Not the horror story kind of roommate, but the one that was truly awesome.
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Nostalgic feelings have recently caused me to reflect back on my freshman year of college. No other year of my life has been filled with more ups and downs, and highs and lows, than freshman year. Throughout all of the madness, one factor remained constant: my roommate. It is time to thank her for everything. These are only a few of the many reasons to do so, and this goes for roommates everywhere.

You have been through all the college "firsts" together.

If you think about it, your roommate was there through all of your first college experiences. The first day of orientation, wishing you luck on the first days of classes, the first night out, etc. That is something that can never be changed. You will always look back and think, "I remember my first day of college with ____."

You were even each other's first real college friend.

You were even each other's first real college friend.

Months before move-in day, you were already planning out what freshman year would be like. Whether you previously knew each other, met on Facebook, or arranged to meet in person before making any decisions, you made your first real college friend during that process.

SEE ALSO: 18 Signs You're A Little Too Comfortable With Your Best Friends

The transition from high school to college is not easy, but somehow you made it out on the other side.

It is no secret that transitioning from high school to college is difficult. No matter how excited you were to get away from home, reality hit at some point. Although some people are better at adjusting than others, at the times when you were not, your roommate was there to listen. You helped each other out, and made it through together.

Late night talks were never more real.

Remember the first week when we stayed up talking until 2:00 a.m. every night? Late night talks will never be more real than they were freshman year. There was so much to plan for, figure out, and hope for. Your roommate talked, listened, laughed, and cried right there with you until one of you stopped responding because sleep took over.

You saw each other at your absolute lowest.

It was difficult being away from home. It hurt watching relationships end and losing touch with your hometown friends. It was stressful trying to get in the swing of college level classes. Despite all of the above, your roommate saw, listened, and strengthened you.

...but you also saw each other during your highest highs.

After seeing each other during the lows, seeing each other during the highs was such a great feeling. Getting involved on campus, making new friends, and succeeding in classes are only a few of the many ways you have watched each other grow.

There was so much time to bond before the stresses of college would later take over.

Freshman year was not "easy," but looking back on it, it was more manageable than you thought at the time. College only gets busier the more the years go on, which means less free time. Freshman year you went to lunch, dinner, the gym, class, events, and everything else possible together. You had the chance to be each other's go-to before it got tough.

No matter what, you always bounced back to being inseparable.

Phases of not talking or seeing each other because of business and stress would come and go. Even though you physically grew apart, you did not grow apart as friends. When one of you was in a funk, as soon as it was over, you bounced right back. You and your freshman roommate were inseparable.

The "remember that one time, freshman year..." stories never end.

Looking back on freshman year together is one of my favorite times. There are so many stories you have made, which at the time seemed so small, that bring the biggest laughs today. You will always have those stories to share together.

SEE ALSO: 15 Things You Say To Your Roommates Before Going Out

The unspoken rule that no matter how far apart you grow, you are always there for each other.

It is sad to look back and realize everything that has changed since your freshman year days. You started college with a clean slate, and all you really had was each other. Even though you went separate ways, there is an unspoken rule that you are still always there for each other.

Your old dorm room is now filled with two freshmen trying to make it through their first year. They will never know all the memories that you made in that room, and how it used to be your home. You can only hope that they will have the relationship you had together to reflect on in the years to come.


Cover Image Credit: Katie Ward

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Is Social Media Killing Romance?

In a modern era filled with technology, are the communication outlets we rely on destroying our ability to connect?

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I have always been a girl that has been stereotypically obsessed with romance novels and movies. Honestly, I enjoy the concept of romance in and of itself. I have always dreamed of a passionate, deep romance of my own complete with a meet-cute, dates, and affection. However, it seems as though the concept of romance has skewed dramatically as social media continues to flourish.

So many romance movies are shifting to acknowledge how time-consuming social media is in teenagers lives. Even so, social media seems to be such a minuscule part of the relationships while, in reality, social media outlets tend to be a major form of communication in our society.

It seems as though our entire lives are digital and relationships are no exceptions. Meeting people the "old fashioned way" is almost obsolete now thanks to dating apps and other mediums of communication. We seem to be taking away the basis of relationships; intimacy and connection.

Additionally, social media has been detrimental, especially pertaining to self-esteem and self-image. Social media allow self-scrutinization to become the norm. Comparison is almost a reflex while scrolling through social media so why would romance and relationships be any different? Social media can create ridiculous expectations for relationships. Apps like Instagram are a media for sharing the best of your life, so everyone seems to have a perfect life on there. These expectations and comparisons seem to be a deteriorating factor for relationships.

Another phenomenon that I have noticed, thanks to social media, is that meeting people is easier than ever. This is not a bad thing per se. However, since it is so easy, it seems that all the effort is gone. Flirting with someone who "slid into your DMs" is exponentially easier than flirting with someone in real life. Apps like Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram are simple methods to communicate and therefore, our communication has become simple.

Hookup culture is another thing that has become increasingly popular with the rise of social media. According to statistics, correlation does not imply causation but, at least to me, it seems that there are entirely too many aspects in common for them to not be related. Since communication is exponentially easier, so have "booty calls." Late night texts. or "snaps" have diminished the chase and allowed for actual relationships to be foreign to our generation.

In conclusion, social media has provided us with an unbelievable amount of benefits. However, it also may be draining our generation of connection and emotion. It seems as though social media has driven us into an age of simplicity and complacency.

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