Dear Little One,

Your tiny hand used to fit right into the crease of my palm as we walked side by side down the staircase in your house. You were so cute and I loved when your face lit up every time I walked in your front door. Your chubby cheeks would raise and you would start acting up in front of your parents and I knew we were in for an interesting, silly, fun night.

I know your memories of me have probably faded over the years. But, I was there to dry your every tear and tuck you into bed at a night when you were hard at play. I was your mommy when your mommy wasn’t home. I took care of every little thing you needed and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I spent most of my Saturday nights at your place so your parents could get away for a little adult time. It was a win, win for everyone. They got their time off from being a parent and we got to play and do whatever we wanted.

We used to run around and play hide and seek in your basement. You would always want to count and I would have to search for places to hide. Even if I hid in the same spot ten times in a row, you would still giggle when you found me and make a huge deal out of it. You were a dramatic child and I loved it.

There were always board games spread all over the floor. Twister was your favorite of course. I would laugh when you took your socks off those little piggies and you would always scream “stinky feet” at the top of your lungs while tilting your head back with a fake, obnoxious laugh.

And, the tickle fights...well those were extremely intense. You would always try to get me back. If you didn't know then, those laughs on my part were fake. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you're grown up now.

You were such a funny child. I was always truly laughing at something you said or did. Your simple, dry humor is something that you will hopefully never lose.

The best part of being your babysitter was watching you grow. I loved watching you try to read or tie your shoe. It’s an amazing thing when you finally accomplish something new. It just put a smile on my face. It was a bittersweet smile, though. I was glad, but at the same time, it was as if a part of your youth was slipping away. I wished you would stay small forever.

At bedtime, I would read you two books before trying to tuck you under the covers. You would usually distract me in some way. And somehow it always worked. You would finally get to bed 30 minutes after the time your parents set, but I never told them that.

I would always come back upstairs to check on you after you fell asleep. You would hug your teddy bear and I would see your chest rising and falling. It was quiet. You were adorable when you slept.

The remainder of the night I would be picking up all the toys we got out. P.S. You owe me for that.

The sad thing about being a babysitter, in general, is that we come and go. We aren’t with you every day. We miss things, pick up the pieces and put things together as we pop in and out of your life.

And even though our schedules aren’t set solid, our love for you is. Ten years from now when we have our own children at home we will think back about how your favorite meal used to be mac and cheese and fruit snacks. And, without hesitation, we will feed it to our babies.

We will see how they make silly faces just like you did. We will remember how your hand used to fit in mine and look down at how theirs does in the same way.

No one will replace the love for you in my heart. Our memories, our laughs and our Saturday nights will never change in my mind. You were my child before I was able to have my own. And that’s something that will never be replaced.

Love,