You were someone I knew was no good but still went back to because I thought it would be different while thinking you changed. I wish I could’ve taken the advice of so many to stop talking and just cut off all strings with you, but I couldn’t let “us” go. Some of my friends supported us, since I seemed so happy with you, and others would get so mad because every time we talk, I got hurt in the long run. Even though I would never let friends come between us, you did plenty of times. I should have seen you trying to hide us. Also, I don’t think you realize how many times I cried over you since I always saw the good in you.
We basically dated three times, towards the end of every year of high school after ninth grade. Two of the three times, I was the girl in your life that “meant the world to you,” but you continued to say you were just not ready for a relationship. Maybe this because I was the one to break us up the first time, but I guess I will never know. We tried to relive old memories each time we became close again. You would speak of the future like you acted we were going to have even when you knew you never wanted a future with me.
Not all the times we had together were so dark, though. There was so much laughter between us, no matter how the conversation started. You knew exactly how to make me smile when I really was upset or stressed. We would fight over the radio stations and eventually find something we agree on, or we would switch back and forth. We connected like I had never connected before, and I cherished it. At every school dance, you would tell me how beautiful I looked, but never once approached me for a slow dance or picture. Which is probably what hurt the most, since you knew I would have been so happy dancing with you but you never even thought of asking.
After graduation, I think we both realized this was over. We would not be seeing each other every day between classes, and we were leaving for college. My eyes had finally opened that you had never changed, but just played me more and more each time.
But looking back at it all, I want to thank you. Thank you for making me the strong woman I am today. For showing me what I really deserve in a man who actually loves me, and is not just wanting attention. I am not the same girl who cried all those times over you. I do not regret meeting you, and having you in my life since both good and bad things came from us. I just am glad I am past your phase in my life. Now, I am happier than ever.
This is my final goodbye to you and I do hope the best for you, with every aspect of life.
The next time you try to use a girl, remember that she may hurt you like you hurt me, so be ready.
