We aren't like most sisters. I realized that pretty early on. It wasn't until I was older that I think I really understood why.

You were never the kind of big sister who was involved in my adolescent rites of passage, like my first drink or cigarette. You absolutely refused to go to the DMV in order to give me your old license once you were over 21. Whenever I messed up or got in trouble, it always seemed that you were almost more disappointed in me than anyone else.

Anytime I was up to no good, I would hide from you just as much as from mom.

Y'all would gang up on me and make me feel like I was the only child in the house even though we were only three years apart. You even hid your first razor from me because you were afraid I was going to accidentally cut myself with it. I used to hate this, I never understood why you just couldn't be a cool older sister who would sneak me alcohol and lie for me when I came home past curfew.

This is what so many of my other friends older siblings had been for them. But we were never quite like other families and you were more than a big sister, you were like a second mom to me.

The fact that we didn't get along during most of my middle and high school years makes so much more sense to me with this realization. Like how most kids feel about their mom in middle school, you were embarrassing.

You would show up to pick me up from school dances or football games with your weird friends and do everything in your power to embarrass me in front of everyone, like repeatedly shouting my name from the foot of the bleachers.

Any humiliation that mom hadn't already covered, you were happy to fill in. Y'all were an unparalleled parenting duo.

It wasn't until you went off to college that we really became friends. Now that you weren't around all the time to yell at me or boss me around, you were kind of cool. No longer being housemates or having to share a bathroom did wonders for our relationship. The playing field had been leveled a little bit now that we were both adults, although I don't think you'll ever stop seeing me as your mess of a little sister.

What I am trying to say here, amongst all my complaints, as usual, is thank you. Thank you for working overtime your entire life helping raise the chaos that is me. Thank you for always being supportive of everything I do, including these articles.

Thank you for being the most stable person in my life, an unwavering certainty in a highly unpredictable world. I have a lot of good friends but I think if I really had a body that needed burying you would be my first call.

And you'd probably be really mad about it and lecture me and tell me I'm being a brat but still show up anyways. Thank you for always showing up. We are not the mushy types, and by we I mostly mean you, but I know that every time you parent or lecture me or tell me to "drive safe" whenever I leave, that's your way of showing you care and I'll take it.

I know you're probably feeling so uncomfortable reading this right now but I love you and I think you and mom did a pretty kickass job if I do say so myself.