Growing up we all feel the need to fit in and conform with societies' expectations. My parents tried to help me break out of that mold by teaching me about community and giving back. So they brought me to church and enrolled me in catholic schools, which is funny because my mother is catholic and my father is protestant. For years my life consisted of church, chorus, volunteering, and religion classes. All of which I didn't mind because I felt like I was apart of something, apart of a bigger picture. I never knew that community would slowly turn on me.

My father is protestant and was a firm believer of instilling values in his children. So he volunteered to do everything at a moments notice. From fixing the church lights to getting up at 5 am to shovel and plow after a snowstorm, it was his way of showing us how to give back. I remember getting up with my father to shovel the steps of the church (it was far from fun), going to bingo to help the kitchen (so much more fun than it sounds), and mowing the lawn during the summer. Church gatherings were so much fun too! The chorus retreat was the most memorable part of my child hood!

Years passed, I grew up, and went to college out of state. One day before Christmas I found out the priest and my father had a falling out. Being a person that had already committed to singing a duet at the Christmas mass I kept practicing and composed myself. The day came to sing... With each step I took I was nervous about how people would react to me singing. Would they judge me? Would they hate me? Would they gossip during my song? Well I decided to take a leap of faith and assumed that since they were apart of a congregation they would treat me like they normally did, like family.

As I was waiting to sing a parent that I have known since I can remember sat next to me. I asked how she was.... short answer. I proceeded to ask her how her daughter was....short answer again. Then I asked her what colleges she was looking at.....no answer. She got up and moved to the next pew. I proceeded to have five different but similar interactions with people throughout the night. Finally, it was my turn to sing! I got up sang and went to sit down. "Why is she still singing here? I thought when her father left she would too" are the exact words I heard out of a parent's mouth.

I can't even being to explain how upset I was about how I was treated at a church that I thought was an extended family. Needless to say that whole experience pushed me away from continuing my faith, my faith in people. Isn't God the only one who is allowed to judge or did I get taught that wrong? Weren't we taught to forgive?

I quickly learned that they were not people that I wanted to aspire to be: hateful, judgmental, and unforgiving. This was the most valuable lesson I have ever been taught. I want to thank those people for showing me the error in their ways.