It is often believed amongst our society, especially within the younger generations, that the simple human emotion of happiness can only be achieved through the influence of someone, or someones, other than oneself. Too often we rely heavily on those around us to make us happy and determine our mood. Whether it be a boyfriend, a best friend, or a family member, many of us allow these people to solely control which emotions we carry with us for the day. We believe that either talking to these people, being with them, or just simply having them in our life makes us happier. And, in some context, this may be true. However, the sole controller of whether we receive that blissful, warm feeling is none other than ourselves. Why has this twisted social "norm" been so deeply ingrained into our perspectives of ourselves and every day life?
Being happy is such a simple, yet often essential, part of our every day lives. Although, somewhere along the way, we have acquired this notion that complete satisfaction is not reached without the influence of an outside source or person. A major component that likely contributes to this conception is social media. I guarantee if you logged on to Twitter at this very moment, your timeline would be cluttered with posts discussing "relationship goals" or how much happier one would be if they were with "bae" right now. It isn't rare to see every other post either talking about the desire to be in a relationship, someone bragging about their current relationship/partner, or someone complaining about their single life. This occurrence has become so widely accepted and normal for us all that we don't even think twice about it when we stumble across these posts. When many of us see these tweets about wanting or needing a relationship to be happier, we tend to agree and wish we had that ideal, picture-perfect romance also.
Another strong influence that reinforces this misconception is our friends and the people we see around us every day. If one of your best friends (or, in my case, virtually all of them) have a boyfriend, it's easy to believe in the notion that one's happiness depends on another person. You see how happy they get when they talk to their boyfriend, all the stories they tell you about their relationship, and how their boyfriend treats and cares for them. All of these factors make it easy to want the same thing for yourself, in order to achieve that 'complete' happiness. Even seeing strangers happily in love makes you believe that everything would be better if you had what they had and that you need it too.
But, the truth of the matter is -- you don't.
Having just recently come out of a two-year relationship myself, I was one of these people that believed I could only be happy if my boyfriend was in my life or in my presence in some way. However, I am here to assure those of you that may feel this way, that another person should not and does not decide whether or not you are happy. I was so dependent on my relationship and its affect it had on my overall well-being and happiness. It was a major part of my life. But, undergoing the break-up process, after my relationship had consumed two years of my life, has opened my eyes to the fact that the only person I need to make me happy is myself. I have been learning to be much more independent and using the opportunity to better myself; to focus on me. Although it's hard, it's important to come to the realization that you are enough. Even when you believe no one else thinks so, know that you do. And that's all you need; that's all that matters.
Ignore those social "norms." Know that being independent is OK, and is often better than the alternatives. Know that the ability to make yourself happy is the most important virtue of them all. You don't need someone else to do the job for you. You don't need a relationship all the time in order to be happy. Live your life, do the things you love, and don't allow someone else to hold you back from doing so. I think that if more people could come to terms with this, then we'd all be a lot happier.
