February 5th, 2013 was the first time I heard it: "I only date white girls."
The first boy I have ever had a crush on said that statement out loud. He wasn't talking to me, but I heard those words ring loud and clear through my ears: "I only date white girls." My first crush was then crushed.
I remember thinking: We're only in middle school and you already have a racial preference? In middle school? At 12 years old? At 12, I thought dating was a thing only adults did, never something I thought my classmates were already doing. From then on, I've heard that same phrase come out of people's mouths more often than I'd like to admit. I understand that everyone has a preference. I get that. I prefer my suiter to be tall and athletic with a sense of humor. Some prefer brunettes over blondes or short over tall. I get it. What I don't understand is being racially bias in your dating preference. Often times when this is said to me directly, it is quickly followed by, "I'm not racist, though." But are you?
This pushes the notion that racism is passed down from generational hatred and that the things young children are raised around influence them in every aspect of their lives. Too often are black people perceived to be unruly, ghetto, dirty, and ugly. Some of my white friends have admitted to me that their parents have warned them not to date black people and to bring home someone who "looks more like us."
So you're saying to simply dismiss a person because your parents would rather you bring home someone who looks a little more like you is not racist? That just because someone's skin is darker, or their nose is a little wider, or their hair is a different texture deems them as unworthy to qualify as a romantic partner?
To mask that hatred of other races and simply label it as a dating preference is disgusting. Having a preference for tall people is nowhere near the same as preferencing white over black. That already has a term. It's called racism.
I mean, with over seven billion people in the world, how can you believe that your soulmate looks identical to you? To be so stuck in the racial remarks made by your parents and your own inability to venture out and uncover the truth for yourself is such a shame. It used to break my little heart every time I heard one of my crushes say, "Sorry, I only date white girls." But now, I roll my eyes to that response, because I know that if he was ignorant enough to say that out loud, then he was never worth my time and I'm saving myself from the pain of falling for someone who doesn't even deem me worthy of a rush of endorphins.
So next time, if you hear someone say, "I prefer to date white girls," what they really mean to say is, "I prefer to be a racist."