This past October, my mom got married, and people started asking what that was like for me. As I attempted to answer this question, I realized that I never felt like I had lived with my mother all these years. I felt like I was living with my best friend.

My parents got a divorce when I was seven, and for the next 11 years I lived with only my mom. While outsiders may see the tragic situation of a family torn apart, I couldn’t be happier with the way everything turned out. Because of it all, I have more real world experience as well as a deeper perspective than most people my age, and I have developed a close relationship with my mom.

My mom has always been very open and honest with me, and that only increased once it was just the two of us because I was elevated at a young age to “adult” status in our household. Although everything I have been through has shaped me into the person I am today, my adult status has perhaps been the most influential.

Upon basic principles of sociology, a person’s actions tend to reflect their treatment. Thus, since I was treated as if I was an adult at the age of seven, I began to act like one. Mostly, this was about respect and participation. Rather than making executive decisions at home, my mom asked for my opinion on everything, from where we should go on vacation to what we should have for dinner. Since I was an active participant in everyday decisions, I felt less dependent and more in control of my own life.

This early maturity greatly impacted how I interacted with kids my own age. I remember being bored by some of the topics of conversation throughout my school years, and baffled as to why anyone would ever talk bad about their parents. It took me years to realize that not everyone was friends with their mothers like I was, and in an attempt to remedy this I often went so far as to take the side of the parent when my friends got in trouble. Luckily, through my amazing mom, I was able to avoid the reckless and rebellious teenage years, so my only big mistakes in school were bad fashion choices.

I soon noticed that my relationships with other adults were either fantastic or absolutely terrible, and it was because I had come to expect to be treated by adults as an equal rather than an inferior. Some adults responded well to this and respected that I was more mature than I looked while others seemed to think that I didn’t quite know my place. Also, since I only had one parent in my household, this opened up an opportunity for closer relationships with non-family adults. My mom’s close friends became my friends as well.

In addition, my mom’s business trips helped me become more independent, too. When I was younger, I stayed with family or friends, but after a while I was comfortable staying home alone. I came home from school, made myself dinner, took care of all our pets, then got up in the morning for school again. This became very routine and natural, and helped prepare me for living alone in college.

Also, since my mom referred to our family members differently than I did, I started to drop the “Aunt” and “Uncle,” and I even called my grandparents Mom and Dad by accident a few times!

I realize that I am not the only person to have grown up in this type of household, but it certainly isn’t common. My mom has always treated me as an equal, expected me to make my own decisions, form my own opinions, and have a more mature perspective than my peers. Despite any hardships I have had, I am so thankful for this significant part of my life, and I would not trade it for the world.