To All The People That Use Dating Apps, I Need Some Advice

To All The People That Use Dating Apps, Please Give Me A Lesson On How To Talk To Random Strangers

If you are successfully using a dating app than you are already ahead of me.

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I've had dating apps on my phone since my first semester of college. I figured it was the way everyone was dating and finding significant others, so I might as well try it out. Well, it seems that freshman year me was a lot more adventurous than I am right now because I have completely forgotten how to talk to people. To be more specific, I've completely forgotten how to talk to strangers. I mean that's what Tinder and Bumble are—just a way to communicate with strangers in hopes that one of the digital conversations will turn into something more.

I'm in no way judging or bashing relationships forged through dating apps. Plenty of friends have found their girlfriends and boyfriends through swiping right on the right person. For me at least, I get the confidence to start swiping and then when someone actually shows interest I freak out. Sometimes I'll even have enough courage to respond, but not know where to take the conversation. It's not because I don't want to talk to them but rather because of scared to. I'm scared to put myself out there to be rejected through a series of gifs and emojis.

In the rare occurrence that I do continue to have a conversation with one of my matches, it usually ends with me meeting up with them and them turning out to be not what I hoped for. I wouldn't say I've ever been catfished because they've all match their pictures. It's more that the nice, funny guy I thought I was talking to turned out to be an annoying sleaze just trying to get in my pants. Then my time has been wasted and I'm even less inclined to what to strike up a conversation with someone on a dating app.

I think that's the problem with online dating and apps. For some people, talking through a screen gives them a sense of confidence that they may not have in person. While that can be a good thing for some as it gives them a chance to meet and open up to people, it can be misleading. A lot of the guys I talk to (or at least attempt to) on dating apps, act nothing like they did on Tinder or Bumble. Maybe it's because they're nervous or being careful but most of the time it's because they weren't being themselves. If you just want to sleep with me, just tell me, so I can stop talking to you.

You see, I don't need advice on how to just talk to strangers. Even I can muster up a "hey, what's up?" or "how has your day been?". I need advice on how to continue to have a conversation—how to get to know them, the real them not just the words on a screen. Most importantly, I need someone to explain to me how they kept pushing through all the bad apples to get to their significant other.

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7 Reasons Why Tinder Is A Bad Idea

When you're sick of being single so you decide to go swipe right for matches. Trust me, its a bad idea.
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"Are you looking for something serious or just a hookup?"

Face it, Tinder is one of those apps that you download when you reach a low point in your dating life or an app you use to hook up with local hotties. For those of you who aren't aware what Tinder is, it's a "dating app" that is location based. It finds people that fit into whatever criteria you're looking for such as age, sex, and location. You select an age group, which sex you're interested in, and how far in mileage you want them to be from you. Boom! You're all set for the worst dating app in the world and here's why.

1. People are not always who they say they are.

Okay, this guy was really sketchy so I told him I thought he was a catfish, he never responded.. Be sure to investigate every person. Not everyone is who they say they are. Getting catfished is a real thing and people do it on Tinder all of the time. Don't be tricked into thinking you're talking to this really hot guy, because in reality, he probably is this weird old guy that looks like a non-cartoon version of Homer Simpson. Be cautious of all red flags!

2. When getting swipe happy backfires.

When you get a bunch of people in a row that you're not interested in, you keep swiping left really fast and then sometimes accidentally swipe left on a really hot guy. Gone. He's gone! I will never be able to get him back and I'm not paying $2.99 so I can go back and swipe right. So, until we meet again hot guy!

3. Messages that get sent to you that make you feel super uncomfortable.

This is what happens when you make a Tinder.. everyone thinks you're just down to hook up.. WRONG. Sorry dude, you're really attractive and all, but I just met you less than 24 hours ago. No, I will not "slide on you." Ugh, this is what I get for making a Tinder.

4. That awkward moment when you see someone from Tinder in real life, not on purpose.

Sometimes you forget that these people are real and they are in the same area as you. It's just the worst when your having a bad hair day and have a giant pimple and you see someone from Tinder. Its like ahhhhh don't look at me. Or really, you're just ashamed to even have a Tinder and be seen in public.

5. Be careful, your charming personality might get your Tinder matches attached.

This guy, I honestly thought was going to work out. He was actually a normal, cool dude. We talked on Facetime and everything. But then he started to take things too fast and too soon and I got scared. He was trying to be my sugar daddy. He was offering to buy me anything I wanted and how he would drive 200 miles just to see me. So I started to ignore him for days and then we finally stopped talking! Then he took a screenshot of picture of me off of my Snapchat story. I was not happy about it and we haven't talked since! I don't even want to know what he did with the picture.

6. Meeting someone from Tinder for a "date".

So lets say, Tinder actually worked and you find someone you think might be cool and its time to finally meet in person. Its awkward! You don't know if you should hand shake, or hug or even introduce yourself. I've personally been on 3 Tinder dates (don't judge me because they all go to my university and I've seen them in real life prior to the occasion) and only 1/3 has gone well enough to where I still speak to the person.

7. It is sadly addicting.

Why do I always find myself on this app swiping whenever I have the chance? Engaging in conversations with people just because I'm bored and have nothing better to do. Someone take my phone away from me, please.

Tinder is my guilty pleasure. I'm sorry mom.

Cover Image Credit: Haley Rascoe

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If You Catfish Your Boyfriend To 'Test' If He'll Cheat, The Problem In Your Relationship Is YOU

News Flash: this is why (when you aren't together anymore) he says you are crazy.

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Being in a relationship is not an easy feat. There are many things that are important to have a successful relationship. Trust, honesty, and loyalty are just a few to mention.

A few days ago I was scrolling through Facebook (does this show my age? oof) and came across a video: "CATFISHING my Boyfriend to see if he cheats.. (you won't believe this)" obviously I clicked on it because I was curious. The girl in the video talks about this 'prank' she's going to play on her boyfriend.

First wrong: This is not a prank.

She explains how she has made a fake Instagram account; She made posts using another girl's pictures, followed a bunch of people and then followed her boyfriend.

Second wrong: Using someone else's identity.

She then messaged her boyfriend using this fake Instagram account trying to persuade him into Netflix and chilling. When he replied saying she was cute she started to cry... It went on and on but basically, he ended up proving to her that he would not do that to her.

I'm sorry, WHAT?

OK, let's be real for a second. If you have any need to do this, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG. Trust, honesty, and loyalty are some of the most important things in a relationship... having the need to do this literally just shows that those three things do not exist. But for the sake of it, say you do it.

Only two things can happen...

Scenario one: He cheats (plans to cheat).

If this happens, it probably just proves something that you knew deep down and just didn't want to admit it. So you break up with him. Well, the other girl still exists, but he's going to find out it is you because she does not actually exist. So then you are the one to blame in his eyes because he "would have never done it", he "just thought it was you" and was "testing you". Either way, your relationship is over and has more issues than you already thought.

Scenario two: He does not cheat.

Congrats!!! He's not a cheater. BUT you have issues. You obviously have no trust and do not respect him enough to ask. You also are not being honest in the least bit because are you going to tell him? He will think you are crazy if you tell him. In addition to those issues, you have no sense of loyalty and must have had a reason to test his loyalty... you got a hill to climb.

Either way, you do not look that great and just make the "DUDE, SHE'S CRAZY" actually true. But you know, to each their own.

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