I've had dating apps on my phone since my first semester of college. I figured it was the way everyone was dating and finding significant others, so I might as well try it out. Well, it seems that freshman year me was a lot more adventurous than I am right now because I have completely forgotten how to talk to people. To be more specific, I've completely forgotten how to talk to strangers. I mean that's what Tinder and Bumble are—just a way to communicate with strangers in hopes that one of the digital conversations will turn into something more.
I'm in no way judging or bashing relationships forged through dating apps. Plenty of friends have found their girlfriends and boyfriends through swiping right on the right person. For me at least, I get the confidence to start swiping and then when someone actually shows interest I freak out. Sometimes I'll even have enough courage to respond, but not know where to take the conversation. It's not because I don't want to talk to them but rather because of scared to. I'm scared to put myself out there to be rejected through a series of gifs and emojis.
In the rare occurrence that I do continue to have a conversation with one of my matches, it usually ends with me meeting up with them and them turning out to be not what I hoped for. I wouldn't say I've ever been catfished because they've all match their pictures. It's more that the nice, funny guy I thought I was talking to turned out to be an annoying sleaze just trying to get in my pants. Then my time has been wasted and I'm even less inclined to what to strike up a conversation with someone on a dating app.
I think that's the problem with online dating and apps. For some people, talking through a screen gives them a sense of confidence that they may not have in person. While that can be a good thing for some as it gives them a chance to meet and open up to people, it can be misleading. A lot of the guys I talk to (or at least attempt to) on dating apps, act nothing like they did on Tinder or Bumble. Maybe it's because they're nervous or being careful but most of the time it's because they weren't being themselves. If you just want to sleep with me, just tell me, so I can stop talking to you.
You see, I don't need advice on how to just talk to strangers. Even I can muster up a "hey, what's up?" or "how has your day been?". I need advice on how to continue to have a conversation—how to get to know them, the real them not just the words on a screen. Most importantly, I need someone to explain to me how they kept pushing through all the bad apples to get to their significant other.
This guy, I honestly thought was going to work out. He was actually a normal, cool dude. We talked on Facetime and everything. But then he started to take things too fast and too soon and I got scared. He was trying to be my sugar daddy. He was offering to buy me anything I wanted and how he would drive 200 miles just to see me. So I started to ignore him for days and then we finally stopped talking! Then he took a screenshot of picture of me off of my Snapchat story. I was not happy about it and we haven't talked since! I don't even want to know what he did with the picture.
