One Step At A Time

One Step At A Time

Please remember you're not alone and the world is here to help you.
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(This is not an article about straight to the point facts. This is purely my opinion on the subject matter. If you don't agree with me on certain points, please point them out in the comments section.)

Now... Lets all get this straight right off the bat... Sexual assault is WRONG. Plain and simple. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out. So why in the world do men think it is okay? I understand that females also can be the attacker. However, with all the individuals I have ever talked to, the male has been the attacker. This topic highly infuriates me. Men say, "I was just playing around" "She didn't actually say yes but I know she wanted it". No... she didn't want it!! If she didn't say anything it is because her body went numb. Females often have a defense mode that (from talking with individuals who have been the victim) makes them freeze and close up. No female that doesn't say anything just automatically wants to be touched inappropriately or have sex. They freeze up because fighting back doesn't always work. If anything, a majority of the women ever attacked are shorter and weaker than their attacker which makes them perfect targets. Because of this, fighting back usually just makes the situation worse for the woman. These men feed off of other women's fear and it is absolutely disgusting to me.

These men just don't seem to understand that when a female is assaulted, they blame themselves. They feel that no one cares about them anymore, and from here they slowly get worse and worse if they don't talk about it and no one tries to show some type of compassion towards the individual. From the individuals that I have talked to in my life, every single one has contemplated suicide... Think about that for a moment... Every, single, one. I'm not talking about a handful of individuals here. Since my time in high school I have heard over ten heartbreaking stories from survivors. Each one is just as unbearable as the next. These individuals are loved by so many, but because one person feels the need to "seek revenge" or just do it "for the hell of it", it can tear that females heart right out and flip her world upside down. These are people I care about so much and to see them in such disarray is truly heartbreaking. It's even worse when that individual commits suicide and everyone begins to blame themselves for not seeing the signs.

So to all those individuals out there who have ever experienced something like this, remember... you are LOVED. People still love you. Your family loves you, your friends love you, your teachers love you, even that guy or gal that you may have given a buck to the one day on the street loves you. You are all loved by so many and you can come to us if anything ever happens to you. We are not bothered by your so called "problems". We want to help you through your hard times and make you happy again and help you get back to that happy/healthy person everyone knew and loved before tragedy struck. This is what I tell my loved ones all the time... just remember to take it one step at a time. Nothing is going to get better in a few days. It could take weeks, even months, sometimes a few years depending on how deep and for how long the pain lasted. So attempt to spread your stress out by taking it one step at a time. Talk to your friends, talk to your family, talk to someone who will get you the help you need and deserve. If you don't know where to turn, call RAINN (Rape Abuse and Incest National Network) at 800-656-HOPE. Here is their website for more information about what they exactly do https://rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault. I promise, you'll look back on your life and realize you came out much stronger and motivated than you ever thought possible. The world loves all of you for who you are, not for what some sick scumbag did to you.

Now... let me gather all the men in the world around at a table. All of you, read this. Now I am not saying all men out there are perverts and think it is okay to do these heinous acts on unsuspecting women. What I just would like to understand is why men feel like it is okay. That they feel that the female won't get traumatized. That they think that since it's a sexual act, the female will enjoy it even though they didn't give consent. That it is okay to keep going even after the female tells them to "please stop". What I also would like to know is why men like this exist in this world. I have heard that sometimes men see it as a way of getting revenge, or getting something they believed the female owed them. No one owes anyone anything. What any proper human being would do is to be the bigger person and walk away from a situation. Yet, these sick low lives find it perfectly okay to prey on women of a shorter/weaker stature... The worst part is that not only do they continue to harass the individual after the fact, they also believe that they can get away with it. They believe that if they tell women things to make them fear for their lives, then these women won't say a thing. And its true... sadly...

So lets all put our foot down for the last time and stand up against these ruthless men. If you ever meet a guy who talks about assaulting or raping a female and then laughing about it, do something, please? I never thought these men existed until I met one on my school campus. He didn't flirt the fact that he had done it, but he talked about how he would maybe do it some day for fun. That scared the hell out of me. Just the way he sat there laughing like it was just a normal, everyday conversation. So this is me asking, for the love of all that is good and for our absolutely amazing friends and family and even strangers, if you see something, then SAY SOMETHING. Or do your part and help the victim if you can't find help yourself. Remember, every second counts. So lets do our part and help the people we love of this great world. Lets make this world a better place one step at a time.

Cover Image Credit: Run Against Sexual Assault

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A Letter To My Go-To Aunt

Happiness is having the best aunt in the world.
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I know I don't say it enough, so let me start off by saying thank you.

You'll never understand how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. You'll also never understand how special you are to me and how much I love you.

I can't thank you enough for countless days and nights at your house venting, and never being too busy when I need you. Thank you for the shopping days and always helping me find the best deals on the cutest clothes. For all the appointments I didn't want to go to by myself. Thank you for making two prom days and a graduation party days I could never forget. Thank you for being overprotective when it comes to the men in my life.

Most importantly, thank you for being my support system throughout the numerous highs and lows my life has brought me. Thank you for being honest even when it isn't what I want to hear. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground and keeping me sane when I feel like freaking out. Thank you for always supporting whatever dream I choose to chase that day. Thank you for being a second mom. Thank you for bringing me into your family and treating me like one of your own, for making me feel special because you do not have an obligation to spend time with me.

You've been my hero and role model from the time you came into my life. You don't know how to say no when family comes to you for help. You're understanding, kind, fun, full of life and you have the biggest heart. However, you're honest and strong and sometimes a little intimidating. No matter what will always have a special place in my heart.

There is no possible way to ever thank you for every thing you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Thank you for being you.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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8 Types Of People Fetuses Grow Into That 'Pro-Lifers' Don't Give 2.5 Shits About

It is easy to fight for the life of someone who isn't born, and then forget that you wanted them to be alive when you decide to hate their existence.

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For those in support of the #AbortionBans happening all over the United States, please remember that the unborn will not always be a fetus — he or she may grow up to be just another person whose existence you don't support.

The fetus may grow up to be transgender — they may wear clothes you deem "not for them" and identify in a way you don't agree with, and their life will mean nothing to you when you call them a mentally unstable perv for trying to use the bathroom.

The fetus may grow up to be gay — they may find happiness and love in the arms of someone of the same gender, and their life will mean nothing to you when you call them "vile" and shield your children's eyes when they kiss their partner.

The fetus may grow up and go to school — to get shot by someone carrying a gun they should have never been able to acquire, and their life will mean nothing to you when your right to bear arms is on the line.

The fetus may be black — they may wear baggy pants and "look like a thug", and their life will mean nothing to you when you defend the police officer who had no reason to shoot.

The fetus may grow up to be a criminal — he might live on death row for a heinous crime, and his life will mean nothing to you when you fight for the use of lethal injection to end it.

The fetus may end up poor — living off of a minimum wage job and food stamps to survive, and their life will mean nothing to you when they ask for assistance and you call them a "freeloader" and refuse.

The fetus may end up addicted to drugs — an experimentation gone wrong that has led to a lifetime of getting high and their life will mean nothing to you when you see a report that they OD'd and you make a fuss about the availability of Narcan.

The fetus may one day need an abortion — from trauma or simply not being ready, and her life will mean nothing to you as you wave "murderer" and "God hates you" signs as she walks into the office for the procedure.

* * *

Do not tell me that you are pro-life when all of the above people could lose their lives in any way OUTSIDE of abortion and you wouldn't give 2.5 shits.

You fight for the baby to be born, but if he or she is gay or trans, you will berate them for who they are or not support them for who they love.

You fight for the baby to be born, but if he or she is poor or addicted, you will refuse the help they desperately need or consider their death a betterment of society.

You fight for the baby to be born, but when the used-to-be-classroom-of-fetuses is shot, you care more about your access to firearms than their lives.

It is easy to pretend you care about someone before they are even born, and easy to forget their birth was something you fought for when they are anything other than what you consider an ideal person.

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