I can’t imagine a world in which my dogs no longer exist. I have had one of my dogs for more than half of my life and I’ve had the other for a little under half of my life. They mean the world to me and I love them both with all of my heart.

Recently, I’ve had the unfortunate experience of entering that unimaginable world in which one of my two dogs is no longer present. Her name was Haley. She was a black lab and collie mix and my family adopted her when she was just a few months old.

Living in this previously unimaginable world is surreal. Writing about this feels surreal. Losing the dog I’ve had for eight years as one of my best friends, is utterly surreal.

I never wanted to live in a world without both of my dogs, but now I have to. Moving forward without her is and will be sad. However, looking back on the moments I spent with my furry four-legged pal, I am extremely thankful.

When you adopt a dog, or any animal, you never think about the end because you’re living in the excitement of the present. I am thankful that Haley was a part of my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Before my family adopted Haley, she was abused and given up many times. I am thankful that I got to be a part of making her life better by giving her the love and care she deserved. Although we may have saved her, she brought us more happiness than I could’ve imagined. She made our lives better just as we made hers better.

Thinking about everything that has happened with my dog has lead to some broader realizations about life. I have come to accept the fact that, as much as I want it to be, life is not fair.

I never expected Haley to go first, before my other dog, Jasmine, who is 12 years old. That being said, this has reminded me that life is as painfully unpredictable as it is joyfully unpredictable.

My dog didn’t and wasn’t going to live forever, but she’ll live forever in my memories.