A couple weeks ago, an app called "Pokémon Go" was launched. I had no clue that this was even a "thing" until I logged onto Facebook and noticed that my entire Newsfeed was filled with Pokémon Go news. Obviously, I felt a little left out when I read that the entire world was apparently playing this game and somehow I hadn't gotten the invite. Granted, I hadn't played a Pokémon game since the fourth grade, but I wasn't going to let that lack of experience stop me from aggressively jumping on the bandwagon. I immediately downloaded the app and began my journey as a Pokémon trainer.
My adventure started with me on the train to Grand Central. I work in Manhattan, but commute from Connecticut daily. I opened the app, smiling to myself thinking about how many Pokémon I could catch while speeding by on the train. Turns out that the game developers had already guessed that people like myself would try to exploit the system. So, for my first hour in Pokémon Go, I ended up just feeling really stupid and disappointed (this feeling never went away.)
After arriving at Grand Central, I proceeded to pull out my phone and check my surroundings for the game's creatures. Sure enough, something called a Voltorb (which basically is a jawbreaker with eyes) popped up on my screen. It was game time, the moment I had been waiting for. My camera switched on and I spun around until the cartoon character was in my view. I dragged my finger across the screen, sending a virtual ball flying towards the Pokémon. It was at this moment that I realized I was horrible at this game. Like, debatably nonfunctional. So I sat there, phone up to my face, frantically dragging my finger across the screen. I then noticed that on my screen, there was a middle-aged woman glaring at me pretty angrily. I lowered my phone, only to confirm that this lady was not a part of the game and was not very pleased with me. I had been pointing my camera at her and her kids for quite some time, therefore I figured it was best to count the Voltorb as a loss and go on my way.
While walking to work, I had my eyes glued to the screen. All around me, I saw various creatures and landmarks popping up; I was in a state of awe and excitement. That is, until I felt yellow caution tape wrap around my face. I frantically ripped the the stuff off, only to look around and realize that I had walked right into a construction site. Not only that, but a lot of other people had noticed, too. So, I did what I always do when I make a mistake: put the blame on something other than myself. I looked at the nearest spectator, said "Pokémon Go," and walked away.
And thus ended my short-lived journey as an aspiring Pokémon trainer. I did not "catch 'em all." What I had caught, however, were stink eyes and tape to the face. The life of a Pokémon trainer is clearly not for me, and it's probably best for everyone if I just stick with Doodle Jump.
