Dear Lovely,

I wanted to write this letter to you because I want you to know that I am so stoked to meet you one day. I look forward to reading this letter together, and you can see the kinds of thoughts I am having as they pertain to you. One of the first things I want you to know is that I will try my best to be a wonderful mother to you. It doesn't matter if you arrive through adoption or birth; I will strive to be my absolute best self. Along with this, I also promise that I will mess up. Lovely, I am sorry in advance for the mistakes that I will make. Please know that it will never be my intention to cause you pain. Messing up is inevitable because we are only human. Please keep that last sentence in mind...Trying to be perfect tends to run deep on my side of the family.

Right now, I am currently a 20-year-old sophomore in college at IUPUI. I run Cross Country and Track here, and I am majoring in Journalism with a minor in Sociology. I love hanging out with friends, writing, and listening to music. I can't wait to introduce you to all of the wonderful genres out there. Don't worry, we can sing at the top of our lungs and have dance parties together. We always did when I was younger, and as you will one day find out, your grandmother and aunt will have some rocking moves to show you.

Lovely, I can't wait to see what you want to do with your life. I can't wait to see what you are passionate about and witness what will drive you to succeed. One thing I don't want you to feel is pressure to follow in my running footsteps. If that is what you want to do, then great! If not, I promise I won't be upset or disappointed. It will simply give me joy to see that you are doing what you want to do, whether that is writing, reading, soccer, dance, Student Council, or anything else that makes you feel joy. I want to celebrate your joys with you and be someone you feel like you can celebrate with. Too often, I have heard horror stories of daughters who feel estranged to their mothers, and I can tell you for certain that this will be one of my greatest fears from the time I hold you for the first time and on.

I have so many dreams for things I want to experience with you. One thing you should know about me is that I am a dreamer, and my imagination runs deep. Your grandparents have always lovingly teased me for my wild imagination, but they way I see it, having a wild imagination leads to having dreams, which then creates the drive and willingness to work towards your dream. Just recently, your grandfather told me of a man he had the privilege to meet. This man's name is Matt and he plays a game called Goal Ball. Matt is blind, but that doesn't stop him. I'm sure your grandfather will tell you of this man one day, so I will leave the rest of the story for you to find out, (this is the first cliffhanger I ever give you!) but this is the quote Matt told your grandfather that I want to share with you right now. He said, "My ability to achieve will only be limited by how hard I am willing to work."

Lovely, I want you to keep this in mind as you go through life. There is starting to be an elaborate pattern of parents doing everything for their children, and I just want you to know that with everything I don't know about being a mother, (which is everything) don't expect that from me. I am not going to rob you of figuring things out for yourself. I am not going to do your homework for you. I am not going to take your side against your teacher if you are misbehaving. I will hold you accountable for your actions. That is how your grandparents raised me, and I never expected any different. Don't get me wrong, though, if you are stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, I will do everything I can to guide and help you. I just want to help you be your own person, and that is one of the strongest ways I know how.

I am ready to close this letter for now, but feel assured that you will probably read a lot more letters from me in the future. I still have a lot that I want to do before I meet you, and a lot of goals left to accomplish. I still have a lot of growing up left to do, but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and holding you in my heart.

Until next time.