Growing up, everyone imagines their perfect fairytale life. At six years old, you're going to be a superstar singer/actress/model. At ten, you have some crazy dream of being an astronaut who is a part time chef at a five star restaurant. Innocent, wild, completely irrational and almost laughable looking back now, right? I'd say it's probably around the age of fourteen when things get really interesting. You and your best friends make plans of going to the same college, buying a huge mansion to share, and all marrying whatever celebrity hotties are in the headlines that week. Throughout high school your dreams change to model the new career choice (a minimum of three a year), the newest college on your list (but this is where she's going... and he's going here... but I want to go here...), and the future you want for yourself slowly turns into a blur.
At eighteen years old, you're graduating from high school. You're moving on, excitedly. You'll leave for your dream college in just two short months. You'll cry when your parents drop you off at your crappy looking dorm that you'll soon grow to love. Classes begin, and as time goes by you realize that you're in over your head. You're walking through campus, even though you can't see five steps ahead of you. You're taking in everything that everyone says to you. You're registering for the hard math classes because someone said that you'll need them. You're taking sixteen hours because you're supposed to be an overachiever - who cares if you don't sleep? You're going home on the weekends with a smile plastered on your face, because that's what everyone wants. College is the best time of your life, at least that's what everyone keeps telling you.
Looking in the mirror, she's fading away. The girl that had dreams and ambition. The girl who knew exactly what she wanted. The girl who loved school, who was happy with her life. Don't forget her, don't let her fade away. It's okay to struggle, it's okay to be lost, it's OKAY. What isn't okay is letting your freshman year of college change your viewpoint on life, your viewpoint on yourself.
Once upon a time, I was that girl. I was the girl struggling with everything. I was juggling everything in my life and pretending to be okay while everything around me fell apart. I was letting myself fade away, I was becoming someone I didn't know.
But, you know what? One day, I woke up and decided that I wasn't going to let my life run me anymore. I decided I wasn't going to try and do everything on my own anymore. I put my faith and my life in the hands of someone much more capable than I am... and let me tell you, He has made all of the difference.
With the Lord on my side, I know I can live happily ever after.
