“What does it mean to be a ‘slut’?” Until my own boyfriend called me a “slut,” I had never taken the time to ponder this question, nor had I realized that I didn’t have an answer to the question at all.
As I was in a completely committed long-term relationship, the word “slut” seemed to have no place in this situation. That is, if the word “slut” is taken for its dictionary definition, meaning “a woman who has many casual sexual partners.” So what did my now ex-boyfriend mean when he called me a “slut?” Was it the way I dressed? The way I act? My past sexual history?
His answer? “It was a joke.” That’s when I realized that the word “slut” has many different definitions and meanings for everyone, but it is not a joke. The reason why I couldn’t find a clear-cut answer to the question, “What does it mean to be a slut?” Because the purpose behind calling someone a “slut” isn’t to define, it’s to shame—and shaming someone for owning his or her sexuality should never be taken as a joke.
Don’t get me wrong—I’ve been on both sides of the word “slut.” In fact, girls are some of the biggest perpetuators of slut-shaming. Sometimes it’s jealousy, sometimes it’s shock, but at one time in our lives we either heard a rumor or saw a girl with a particularly scandalous outfit and labeled her a “slut.” It’s almost an automatic assumption, which is scary considering it is usually based on nothing more than one’s sexuality.
If a girl is comfortable with dressing in a way that accentuates her body or enjoys engaging in casual sex, why do we feel the need to pass judgment? It’s 2015—you would think we’re past the notion of protecting girls’ virginities and judging people based on superficial things like the way they dress or look. Instead, we live in a world that harshly critiques every step a girl takes into womanhood, and sets impossible expectations for women (the line between sexy and slutty is very, very thin).
It seems almost silly to judge a person’s core and character based on the things like the way they dress or the number of people they’ve hooked up with. Yet it happens: in everyday life and in the media. Take Miley Cyrus for example. She ditches her good girl teenage self for her nipple flaunting, Robin Thicke twerking, overly sensualized self. The public’s opinion? She’s a slut. It doesn’t matter that the millions of people judging her don’t know her personally, much less know her sexual encounters and history. She dresses, acts, and looks like a slut.
