In the Season 5 finale of cult-classic TV show "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," Buffy tells her little sister that "the hardest thing to do in this world is live in it." While Buffy fought vampires and had to save the world, her words would go on to touch the lives of all who heard it. Even a 14-year-old girl who was being abused by her girlfriend.
Living with mental illness is, in short terms, a living hell. I was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder when I was 16-years-old. I experience vivid flashbacks, I have gruesome nightmares, but the worst part is carrying the memory of what happened around with me every day. Sometimes it feels as if my experience defines me. I feel as if it is imprinted on my skin, or that is all people see me for. Other days, it is easier. I feel like I shake it off a bit, and I let myself have another shot at life.
Most days, it is hard though. I am constantly riddled with thoughts of my abuse, and it always seems to be working in the back of my mind. I don't think a day has gone by since that I haven't thought about it. I don't think there ever will be. While I cannot speak for the experiences of each person with PTSD, I can imagine that they too experience the same problems as I.
If you have PTSD, know that I, and many others, think you are strong. Thank you for standing up each morning and trying to live each day to the fullest, even when it is hard. From one survivor to another, I know that you are funny. You are smart. You are brave, and witty, and hey, maybe you're an artist! Maybe you like to look at the stars. I will always think of those things before I think "PTSD." I know that's what you'd do for me.
The hardest thing to do in this world is live in it. But you must keep on living.
