When I was four, I went from being an only child to being the first of two. I won’t lie, at first, I wasn’t my little sister’s biggest fan, but I wouldn’t trade being a big sister for anything. Additionally, being the first of just two comes with a special set of roles and opportunities.
ROLE: You are the guaranteed babysitter, chauffeur, and third-parent.
Since it is just the two of you, there is no other person who your parents turn to for babysitting, it was always you (once you were old enough). As soon as you had your license, you became the chauffeur to sports practice, school events, etc. etc. Whenever you parents weren’t around, you were the parent, you were responsible for taking care of your sibling, and making sure that they had everything they needed. It was a lot of responsibility.
OPPORTUNITY: You become an automatic leader.
Being the oldest, and because you were the babysitter, chauffeur, and extra parent, you learned how to care for others, how to take charge, and how to become a leader at a young age. Learning how to be a leader early in life has allowed you to use the rest of your life growing into a stronger, more respected leader instead of learning to become one.
ROLE: You are the problem solver and mediator.
If your sibling is anything like mine, you’re somewhat of polar opposites (I am a classic ‘left-brained’ person while my sister is very ‘right-brained'). You probably argue about a lot, and you see the world from extremely different perspectives. Growing up, your views probably clashed a lot and, since you were the older sibling, it was your job to solve the problems and mediate the situation.
OPPORTUNITY: You learn how to get along with people different from yourself.
Even though your sibling is very different from you, you had to grow up in the same house, and you had to learn how to get along. Therefore, you learned at a young age how to understand opinions which differ from your own, and how to work with someone who you do not necessarily agree with all of the time. You learned to mediate situations responsibly, and how to be a skilled problem-solver. Being the big sibling made you into a more open, understanding, and amicable person early in life.
ROLE: You have to experience everything first (including breaking in your parents).
First job applications, where to go for a first job, how to open a bank account, how to apply to college, the list goes on and on. You experienced everything years before your sibling, with no one showing you the ropes and tricks. Your sibling had you.
You broke in your parents for your sibling. You taught your parents about releasing the reigns a little, what to give in to (and what not to give in to). On top of that, everything you did was over-scrutinized by your parents, whereas your little sibling gets to skate through things that you would never be allowed to do.
OPPORTUNITY: You are a trailblazer.
Since there is no one setting any sort of path for you, you see everything fresh. There are no preconceived notions, no pre-plotted trail, and no idea of what you’re supposed to be doing. You learned how to take an uncharted path and how to make things work, even if you had no idea what you were doing.
ROLE: You are a role model.
Ever since your sibling was able to, they had their eyes on you, watching everything you did and learning from everything you did. Because of this, you were tasked with the responsibility of setting an example for them, and you were the only one to do this, there was no other sibling for them to learn from, so it was all up to you. You had to be the best at everything so that your sibling could look up to you (no pressure).
OPPORTUNITY: You are a role model.
Through your experiences, your little sibling learned lessons much earlier than you learned them, and has since been able to avoid some of your missteps. And you got to become someone to look up to. You worked to be someone they could always look up to and it has made you into a better person.
ROLE: You’re a constant companion.
Your sibling was always all over you. Stealing clothes, hanging out with your friends, bugging you when you try to be alone, etc. You didn’t get a lot of alone time growing up, and your sibling used every available moment to annoy you to no end.
OPPORTUNITY: You’re never alone.
You always have a cheerleader, a friend, and someone to get ice cream with. No matter what happens with friends, parents, or relationships, you always have someone willing to go on adventures with you, and you always have someone to talk to. You have a built-in best friend.
