The past (almost) two years has been quite interesting. Since I've left my past relationship, I was able to grant myself so much time to heal and transition into a "new me" at my own pace. I started making more time for myself. I was able to really focus on my goals and make a plan for what I want to do and who I want to be in life.
Throughout all of this, there were many dating opportunities for me. The few ones I actually felt comfortable going on...they were always just a waste of my time (sorry not sorry). Being an old-fashioned gal in a "hook-up" society is wack. There are many people that I know who are comfortable going on blind dates often or are simply interested in hooking up without expectations. I just am not that gal. By all means, kudos to those who know what they want and don't want... but it's just not my cup of tea. I'm used to being in a relationship in order to do all those 'couple' things.
Every date has almost been the same. We get to know each other, give it some time, we finally meet... and you just know you're not into it. You know you aren't interested and that's just all there is to say. I think it's important to be selfish in this aspect of your life. Do not waste your time doing or being with anyone that you don't feel is worth your time (trust me, I learned this the hard way). It's already hard enough to actually get yourself back out there after being hurt. So give your time and energy to someone you think is worth it.
Sometimes, those who seem worth it end up disappointing you. The best way to deal with situations like these is to simply grow from the experience. Experience is needed and healthy. Particularly in interactions like these, you can really learn so much about different types of people, what you like and don't like in a person and what you really want. You might find out there's a lot of things you don't really like and it's impossible to know this until it's actually having it be presented to you.
Another thing to think about is to go out of your comfort zone. Trying new things or meeting people that aren't your "go-to" type can really open your eyes. It is always healthy to really put yourself out there and just live your life to the fullest. The bottom line is to do you, put yourself first and always love yourself before you love anyone else!!
Hopefully, this rant of mine makes you think about what you really want and makes your wheels turn a bit and let you think. Time is your best friend yet worst enemy. Life is also not the easiest relationship. But if you have yourself, you are never going to fail at life. Everything happens for a reason and what's meant to be will make its way. Always remember that this is your life and you owe nothing to no one except yourself! You don't need them, they need you! Thanks for listening to this crazy vent, now go out there and live it up! Good luck!
