Growing up in a Christian household, I heard the phrase “treat others the way you want to be treated” more times than I think that I could ever count. And for the majority of my life, I have always tried to follow that rule. But, at times I did take it to the extreme. I lived the first 18 years of my life treating others kindly, and a lot of the time, putting what I wanted on the “back burner” so that I could tend to the needs of those around me, be it my parents, siblings or friends. At that point in my life, that was exactly what I needed to do. I am the oldest of five kids, and anyone who has siblings knows that you cannot be selfish when you are living at home. Life as a whole does not run smoothly if one person is totally consumed with what they want at all times, and are never thinking about others. College is a completely different story.
The years that you are in college are often thought of as your “selfish years” and for good reason. This is the only time in your life when the decisions that you are making are going to affect you and only you, for the most part. In college, it is totally OK to be selfish. This is an idea that is almost foreign to me, but a lesson that I am slowly coming to grasp with.
These next three and a half years, all of the choices I make, whether it is who I am friends with or where I want to study abroad, only have an impact on my life. That is a pretty liberating thought after thinking about every single decision and how it would affect my family while living at home. I am not saying that everyone should go out and go completely crazy once you hit college, but I do firmly believe that everyone should take advantage of this independence and selfishness that we now have. Yes, you should still think about others, yes you should still try to be a good person overall; but while you still can, you should start putting yourself first too.
As I said, putting myself first is a brand new concept to me but one I am truly coming to like. I believe that you have to fall in love with yourself first before you can love anyone else in any way, shape or form. Take this time, these years of being selfish, to fall in love with yourself. Figure out what it is that you like to do and go do it. Go on walks, write, read, drink coffee, meditate, travel the world, try new foods. Life passes by entirely too fast, and before you know it, these years that you have to be selfish will be over, and you will have a job and a family who counts on you to make everything run. College is a unique time in life that lets you put yourself first, sometimes for the first time ever. Take this time and run with it so that when you are ready to have kids and a family, you can look back on these years and smile about all that you did, all while being happy with the life you have then.
