In high school I had a decent sized group of friends, but out of that group, there was that one person that I was closest with. As our senior year progressed we started to drift apart a little; we were applying to different colleges and each of us was so busy doing our own thing for our college that neither of us seemed to notice the slow pull at our friendship until it was too late. By the time our freshman year in college had started we were no longer talking. We had drifted apart so much over the summer that our friendship had seemed like it ended, and I was hurt by it but was unsure how to approach the situation. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this happens to other people also. Losing close friends after high school happens, but it does not have to be a permanent thing.
During the second semester of my freshman year, my friend and I started talking again. The conversations at the time felt awkward, forced and dull - which was completely different from our conversations in the past. I was a little skeptical about our first attempt at reaching out to each other for the first time in almost a year because it didn't feel comfortable, and eventually, the talking slowly faded away. I didn't know if it was because of my skepticism and lack of effort at times from being busy, or if it was because she sensed my skepticism and didn't want to continue or if she was busy herself. All I knew was that I had lost touch with my best friend for the second time and I decided to try to not let it bother me.
It eventually got to me, and earlier this summer I was talking to a mutual friend about the situation and he could see how upset I was over it and told me he wanted her and me to talk. I was a nervous wreck. She and I hadn't talked or seen each other in close to two years, and I was worried she wouldn't want to talk to me. He had her meet us at a gas station so he could mediate the conversation if we needed it. After a lot of deflecting and avoiding many conversations between the two of us, she shared with me that she had been going through things that I had no idea about, and I had a few things to share with her myself. Hearing about all of the hard stuff she went through without me being around, made me feel guilty and heartbroken. It took a long time for me to accept that what happened wasn't my fault, and it wasn't her fault either. People loose touch with each other, but having the courage to start the first conversation again is the hardest and the most wonderful thing at the same time.
Ever since our meet up at the gas station, her and I have been talking, texting, and hanging out all over again. It feels as though our friendship never stopped. Of course there are some things that are different now because we are older and have new things to worry about, but when her and I spend an afternoon together it's hard for me to think that there was a time not too long ago that we weren't hanging out, driving around and singing along to our favorite band. Things are a little different because I'm in Ohio and she's moving into an apartment in Pennsylvania soon, but now that we're friends again, we're not going to let a few-hour drive get in our way!
