There was a movie that came out in 2008 called “Yes Man”. It starred Jim Carrey as a man who, after his divorce starts pushing everyone out, resulting in him losing some amazing opportunities and friends. He is eventually convinced to attend a conference where he makes a pledge to say yes to anything and everything. His life is turned is upside down and starts to spiral out of control. Penn students, and many others, face this similar situation: They just can’t seem to say no.

“Can you help me study for this test?” “Come to this party tonight!” “Join our club!” Why is it so hard to say no? When looking at these individually, they don’t seem like a huge deal. But when put into the larger picture of a collegian’s workload, they can make the difference between easy sailing and total breakdown. So why do people still do it?

One possibility may be the awful notion of FOMO, or the “fear of missing out”. If someone invites you to what possibly may be the best party in the world and you do not go, who knows what could have happened? You could have met the love of your life. You could have been discovered by a random model scout who goes to frat parties. You could have finally won beer pong. But because you had refused to go that one time, you missed out. And you know that everyone will be talking about it the next day. You have to go. You don’t want to be a loser. This may be the last and only chance you have to do this. You don’t make 100% of the shots you don’t make, right?

There is a more serious and personal reason that students may think it impossible to say no. I like to call it the “Quitter’s Complex” (patent pending). College students, especially at Penn, feel that if they do not try everything or if they quit anything, they’re not trying hard enough and are failures. 

I see students many times taking much more than they can handle, but subsequently refusing to drop anything that they’re involved in. Because what if that one class, or that one job, or that one club was the deal-breaker when it comes to your future? And if you can’t balance social life, schoolwork, and work, then you’re not trying hard enough. 

But look. I am all for working hard and challenging yourself. But overloading just leads to over-stressing which could lead to serious mental health issues — a problem that Penn has a lot of trouble with, especially with its competitive environment.

Now I’m not saying that you should become a complete grouch and refuse to do anything anymore. Taking risks and pushing yourself are what life is all about. But there’s a cost with playing a game of “What if?” with your life. There is nothing wrong with wanting to stay at home.. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to quit. There’s nothing wrong with the word “no.”