Most of us with a license have been there. Pulled over on the side of the road, anxious as can be, with pretty blue flashing lights behind you.

I’m typically a very safe, follow the rules, kind of driver.

My first experience being pulled over was when I was a sophomore in high school. Obviously, I had never been pulled over before so when I saw the lights turn on behind me I tried to get out of the way because I assumed he was going after someone else. I couldn’t possibly be the criminal in this equation.

Boy, was I wrong.

The officer walked up to the driver’s side of the car and I slowly put the window down. He didn’t ask if I knew why I was being pulled over, he told me why I was being pulled over. “You didn’t stop at that stop sign back there.” Is exactly what he said followed by a “license and registration, please.”

I handed him my license, but I had never been pulled over before, I had no idea what my registration looked like. So, I kind of just looked at him desperately then scrounged around in my center console.

Here’s the thing.

I’m an awkward person.

I laugh at everything, including awkward and uncomfortable situations. Unfortunately for me, my uncontrollable laughter was quicker than my hands. I laughed loud and hard in the officer’s face. Embarrassing, I know. In my awkwardness, I then handed him an envelope that had a stack of papers in it and said, “If you can find it, you can have it.” Referring to the registration.

I know, I hate myself too. Why on earth would I say that?! Especially out loud?!

I finally found my registration and handed it to him. He threw the envelope in my lap and proceeded to walk away.

Everyone gets a warning, right? They don’t just hand out tickets to every first offender. Yet again, I was wrong. He came back with an almost $300 ticket. I guess I made him really mad, so I deserved it. To this day I swear I didn’t run the stop sign, I know I stopped.

The last time I was pulled over, which was recent, went fairly well.

It was worse though because I was on an Air Force base, and they take everything seriously. It was around midnight and I was driving home when I again saw pretty blue lights in my rearview. I pulled over and the officer, a very hot officer I might add, walked up to my window. It was already rolled down, so he proceeded to talk to me.

It was honestly like a flashback. I yet again didn’t stop at a stop sign. This time for real because I didn’t even know what stop sign he was talking about. He asked for my license and registration and I told him they were in the center console and asked for permission to reach for them. He gave me a head nod and I searched, again. I handed him my license and continued to look for my registration.

HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?

I started throwing things out of the console and I looked up for a split second and another officer was on the passenger side of my car with his hand on his rifle. I jumped and said, “He scared the shit out of me.” I then looked at officer McDreamy and asked if I could phone a friend, that friend being my dad. He laughed, even though this wasn’t funny, and told me to go ahead.

So, like any normal person, I called my mom. They told me where it was, and I hung up. I gave it to the officer and he walked away. When he came back he handed everything back to me and told me just to drive safe.

I was honestly so relieved but I’m disappointed with myself because he was fine, I’m ridiculous I know, and I didn’t even pay attention to his name.