You got the invite, and now it's the struggle of finding an absolutely useless gift. Well here are some ideas of completely useless gifts to get that random someone. All of these can be found on Amazon because Amazon is the best (#primeforlife).

The Sushi Bazooka. Okay, this one is less joke and really amazing! Like this is the game changer for comfort food. Now I can have my sushi without having the innards going everywhere and not ending with me on the floor with rice all over me (It happened once, don't judge, it's happened to the best of us). Seriously, it's only $25 for paradise.

1500 ladybugs. Pro tip: don't release this indoors. These 1500 guaranteed live ladybugs are good for any event and great for that person that you have neutral feelings about. Also another great feature of this gift is its ability to be gifted to either a male or female! Yay for neutrality! And, it's $10. Only $10. That's like two day's coffee budget.

Custom Nicholas Cage Pillow. Our favorite actor has now been immortalized on a throw pillow. I personally find that it goes well with a black and gold theme, but to be quite honest, this pillow really fits in with most any theme. Maybe not a Sean Penn theme. It might not go with that theme. But any other theme it works well with (to go along with the pillow, a Jeff Goldblum shower curtain would be an excellent option).

Back Hair Shaver. For all the hard places to reach, instead of asking a friend and risking a friendship, do it yourself with this convenient back hair shaver. This will be great for preparing to go to the beach!

32 oz of Wolf Urine. Because why not? Who doesn't want their apartment, car and backpack smelling like wolf urine? Its the best kind of urine and can be found on Amazon for the low price of $100. Unfortunately this is not a Prime item, nor does it have its own button. Amazon, we're waiting.

An Inflatable Toupee. Everybody can tell when a toupee is present. Now just distill any guessing and make it known to everybody by wearing this fashionable inflatable toupee. Unfortunately it only comes in one color.

A human skull. On the plus side, if you buy one, you can get another for free... and it hasn't been recalled... can't think of any other pluses...

Asian Man Wall Decal. Because I think that we can all benefit from the condescending stare of a middle aged Asian man looking over our work. There are multiple sizes to choose from although these wall decals are yet to be approved by the deans. Nevertheless, this is a great gift for someone who needs a watching eye, not so great for those with Scopophobia.

Live Ants. Another gift that is along the same lines as the 1500 ladybugs, this goes well for anybody, whether or not they have an ant terrarium.

Duck Carcass Press. The best way to eat duck is when it is packed in a cylinder with all the juices smashed out of it, and here is a machine that is $2,500 that will do exactly that! Hugh from Amazon gave this item 5 stars and said "This is labeled as a duck press, but I can tell you that it works very well on (at least) rats, possums, squirrels, and stray cats, as well. Have not tried it on a duck yet". We'll take it from the pros and pick one up today! You may be wondering about the high price, but as James from Washington said "Sure, you could just stick a duck in a Ziploc bag and run it over a few times with your car, but the Matfer Bourgeat method is much more civilized...you could just buy a baseball bat and a bunch of tiny blindfolds for a lot less than $2500, but this machine truly represents the future of duck juicing. So pick yourself up one of these exquisite duck carcass mashers today, you'll be glad you did!".