On a cold, crisp
morning,
I walked to my closet.
Opening my eyes from my
deep
slumber,
I
reached for the silver handle,
and pulled the
door
outwards.
As the door opened,
a graceful light shined out.
It was the
holy object for women.
It was
The Bra,
the undergarment that helps,
and supports
most women and
few men.
To most women,
the invention of the
bra
is their “Victoria's Secret.”
Or to few men, “Victor’s Secret”
They use
the bra to enhance their breast.
The Push-Up,
does its job by pushing your tits up to your chin.
By doing this,
the advertisement starts.
Humans learned this from the
Frigatebirds
which they puff up their chest to attract mates.
The Halter,
is
the most
uncomfortable bra.
Having the neck in front of the shoulders,
is one of the “great” side effects.
Most women hate this bra.
Most, are forced to wear this shameful undergarment
so that their bra straps don’t show,
making them look less whore-y.
The Bombshell,
“the bra made for men”.
A descendant
of the
Push-up,
but padded to you desire.
Essentially,
people,
of all genders,
can wear this, and look two cups sizes bigger.
To make one,
all
you need is two king size pillows and two straps.
Works wonders for
for flat chested women,
dogs for
Halloween,
and men who need that extra boost of confidence.
The Strapless,
dun dun dun DUUNNNN!
The bra that says it will hold you boobs
without straps.
Bull’s shit!
One side effect of this “lovely” bra,
is
the constant pulling up action.
Next thing
you know,
the bra is around your stomach.
How
awkward
is it pulling that up in public.
And last but not least,
The Normal Underwire Bra.
Most
people,
who get the right size,
really enjoy this bra.
This is probably
the most simplest bra out there
meant for real women,
and overly sized men.
