On a cold, crisp

morning,

I walked to my closet.

Opening my eyes from my

deep

slumber,

I

reached for the silver handle,

and pulled the

door

outwards.

As the door opened,

a graceful light shined out.

It was the

holy object for women.

It was

The Bra,

the undergarment that helps,

and supports

most women and

few men.

To most women,

the invention of the

bra

is their “Victoria's Secret.”

Or to few men, “Victor’s Secret”

They use

the bra to enhance their breast.

The Push-Up,

does its job by pushing your tits up to your chin.

By doing this,

the advertisement starts.

Humans learned this from the

Frigatebirds

which they puff up their chest to attract mates.

The Halter,

is

the most

uncomfortable bra.

Having the neck in front of the shoulders,

is one of the “great” side effects.

Most women hate this bra.

Most, are forced to wear this shameful undergarment

so that their bra straps don’t show,

making them look less whore-y.

The Bombshell,

“the bra made for men”.

A descendant

of the

Push-up,

but padded to you desire.

Essentially,

people,

of all genders,

can wear this, and look two cups sizes bigger.

To make one,

all

you need is two king size pillows and two straps.

Works wonders for

for flat chested women,

dogs for

Halloween,

and men who need that extra boost of confidence.

The Strapless,

dun dun dun DUUNNNN!

The bra that says it will hold you boobs

without straps.

Bull’s shit!

One side effect of this “lovely” bra,

is

the constant pulling up action.

Next thing

you know,

the bra is around your stomach.

How

awkward

is it pulling that up in public.

And last but not least,

The Normal Underwire Bra.

Most

people,

who get the right size,

really enjoy this bra.

This is probably

the most simplest bra out there

meant for real women,

and overly sized men.