There are some things in this world that are less relevant than others. Pockets on coats that are stitched shut for no apparent reason create a seemingly unnecessary frustration. The impossible plastic packaging on a new doll causes more temper tantrums than called for. Monogrammed pajamas--enough said. However, in the mind of at least one person in the world, either the producer or the consumer, each of these things has varying levels of reasons. The pockets are stitched shut to keep the coats pristine until they are worn (probably for the second time because who noticed they were stitched the first time around?) The plastic is there to keep the doll safe and clean, and to test a parent’s commitment to actually getting it open and giving their child something to play with. The monogrammed pajamas are obviously just an ego thing. But hey, to each his own.

Though it seems that, if dedicated enough to the cause, a legitimate reason could be thought up for any things existence, there is one thing in this world that is really just pointless. Unanimously pointless. Honestly for the people who are dumb enough to buy it, shame on them. Even the first time. You see, single ply toilet paper is literally the most pointless thing I have encountered. It's no good for no one and nothing. Seriously: it's as thin as tissue paper but doesn't have the class required to be able to use it to decorate a gift bag. It definitely can't be used for its intended purpose--cleaning up after a visit to the bathroom. Wiping after a trip to the little person's room using single-ply toilet paper is a terrible experience. It’s also an experience that everyone can empathize with. For some reason, public restrooms tend to be stocked with thinner than air toilet paper and everyone has had experience in that domain. It ends up being a terrible experience because single ply toilet paper just does not have the capability to leave a person feeling clean and confident when leaving the bathroom.

Now, I'm not saying that the only brand that should be used is Charmin Ultra where "less is more,” but no brand, under any circumstances should be producing single ply. It's just not right for the unsuspecting consumer who's just a little distracted while shopping. You think texting while driving is dangerous, try texting while shopping. If you're just doing quick price comparisons on the way to carpool, practice, concert, study session--it's not fair that the cheapest thing that registers in the brain of a cost conscious person is the cursed single ply toilet paper. Of course, what we fail to realize is that single-ply toilet paper is only converted into a usable form after folding it into a ten-ply wad. By that point, you've spent more money than you've saved. But I digress. Aside from the average person not being wary enough to save themselves, by producing single-ply, toilet paper companies legitimize public restrooms to supply single-ply! To me, that seems wrong on all kinds of ethical and moral grounds.

If you're in a college dorm or sharing an apartment with others, buying single ply when it's your week to supply the supplies is a one-way ticket to eviction. Especially because the only way to buy things when living on a budget is in bulk: your roommates will be secretly (or maybe overtly) hating you for the next month, or until you find a way to inconspicuously dispose of it. Unfortunately, I don't see any law being passed to prohibit the manufacturing of single-ply toilet paper in the near future, so I guess the only thing to say is Caveat Emptor - Buyer Beware! Or just be aware.